I’ve been working on the small business and continuing my experiments…
For example, I started to show my face a little bit more. That one’s hard for me for a few reasons:
a) I’m looking much older
b) I was never one to really show photos of myself. I was a graffiti artist, remember? Back in my day (hahah omfg), nobody showed their faces; most of us stayed anonymous. Plus I’m mostly an introvert and prefer to go unnoticed.
c) It feels SO uncomfortable.
But in doing so, I hope to be more comfortable; I really just want to get it over with. Small businesses seem to blend in with personal brands if there’s only one person running it. I also hope that people can see that I’m an actual person; I want them to see me for who I am, and in doing so can make a decision whether to buy from me or not.
It’s better that way I think; better to know right away who likes and supports you rather than be polite for a long fucking time.
Of course there are some slight anxieties like: will people stop supporting me when they find out that I work in the adult entertainment industry? Will the spiritual people think it’s gross and dirty?
It’s hard but we really have to stop caring about what people think and just go for it, otherwise we become slaves to other people’s opinions. They might not even be thinking that at all, it’s our own ego mind creating these ‘what if’ scenarios.
I’ve come to realize that the right people WILL be attracted to you so don’t worry about those who aren’t.
Speaking of being polite, I’ve decided to unfollow a lot of other people; mostly other crystal shop owners. They’re all great, I just don’t want to be influenced by them; I want and desire to have my own voice.
I read an interesting post on Instagram regarding this very same topic. It’s from entrepreneur Melyssa Griffin and you can read it here.
Anyways, I don’t have much to share; being an already quiet person who’s gotten even more quiet. I’m just thinking of ways to get my online crystal shop out there in the world wide web. We have to dream the impossible for ourselves, even if it sounds cliché. I believe that the universe will meet us there when we decide that we are limitless.
My friends at East Los Musubi were nice enough to invite me to take part in their art show, happening on Cinco de Mayo, Saturday May 5th, 2018
I will have brand new and affordable artwork for this show.
If you knew me from my graffiti art days, then you will be familiar with my artwork. I will be revisiting that style. xo
Into an old habit, an old way of thinking…
I am totally aware of this. Right now I’m feeling an old habit creeping up on me, the feeling of boredom. I don’t want to be bored, yet I am. Perhaps the gloomy weather is causing me to feel this way, perhaps it’s my job.
Regardless I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for my life. I’m thankful that I was able to manifest an online business selling crystals; I don’t even know how it happened – being a seller was never really on my radar but marketing and building websites were, so there. It helps that I really like crystals too.
But I get bored still from time to time…I think everybody does.
You don’t have to fight it, but you can’t let it take over completely. So I am writing this to my future self as a reminder:
+ If you get bored, remember to just simply change it up! Do something a different way or make it a point to learn something new every day.
+ Read, read, read. Doodle, scribble, draw. Write with a pen, handwriting is still important.
+ Snap out of it, snap out of feeling sorry for yourself. Other people are really suffering and here you are complaining about being bored. SMH. Exercise, go outside, take a walk, breathe and be in gratitude for fuck sake. You really have a lot to be thankful for.
I am all too aware that I am also creeping my way into getting old, I can see the subtleties on my face. I’m caring less and less about a lot of things but I also don’t want to be forgetful. And I don’t want to be helpless. That’s why they say reading, writing and problem solving or playing memory games is important.
I’ve also been thinking about my finances a lot more, like 401ks and life insurance. I don’t have children so that made it a little easier, but I still have to think about retirement and my loved ones. Had I payed closer attention to this stuff when I was younger, I would be all set for retirement! I would be rich by this world’s standards. But if I DID amass that huge amount, then Uncle Sam would be taxing me for it, wouldn’t he? He sure would! So really, which choice is better; and are you really rich if all that you saved up for goes to paying down debt?
Whatever choice I picked is fine for me, I am successful either way. No matter what choice we make in life, Spirit will always look out for your best interest. You can always look back on your life and see how everything actually worked out for you.
I wanted to draw something for this post but I got stuck. So here’s an old drawing that I decided would look better in hot pink and as an animated gif.
I haven’t been feeling super creative and so I wrote this blog post over at my crystal shop website: How to Break Through a Creative Block with Crystals
Resting, observing, watching everyone from a higher place.
I blend in with my surroundings, I become one with it. I am comfortable and free in the cold night sky, hidden among the trees. My feathers keep me warm.
I find peace and freedom in solitude, I hear and see all.
The pale yellow moon is my light, illuminating the fields. Even without her, I see with perfect vision.
I see a slight movement, I can hear your tiny heart beating fast, nervous, anxious, afraid.
I am Death and I coming down on you swiftly.
My wingspan is majestic and my talons are sharp.
You won’t feel a thing.
You will die only to live again and again.
You will remember bits and pieces of a violent past, you will be drawn to certain things without fully knowing why.
You will remember. And when it all starts to make sense,
you will die again.
And will be reborn into another finite body.
The infinite cycle continues.
To will, to dare, to dream, to want…
but don’t expect it to arrive exactly in the way you imagined.
Wanting without expecting it to be a certain way certainly feels like a balancing act; want it too much and you become obsessed, want it too little but then nothing happens. That’s why they call spirituality a practice – something you have to constantly work on. The non-attachment part can get tricky.
There’s lots of things I should be doing for Metaphysical Vibes to achieve certain results but haven’t quite gotten around to doing, like YouTube videos. I’m also supposed to be blogging a lot more too; actually I’m supposed to be creating LOTS of content on a consistent basis. Not sure if I can do it all though. Some days I feel like I should be posting more on Instagram or do an auction or a sale like everybody else yadda yadda…
But it all seems exhausting. Most of the time I just end up doing nothing and I’m totally fine with that.
But I guess I am doing something, I’m typing my thoughts here and practicing my writing. And I’ve been playing with the image above.
So I have resolved to not compete with anyone and just go at my own pace, that’s what I’m doing.
Reminding myself that I’m not everybody else so why do I feel the need to do what everyone else is doing?
Success is different for everybody, and I feel that I am already successful. Now I just have to step it up and see how far I can go with the resources I have.
I feel pretty grateful that I’ve gotten this far and I know it can only get better from here.