bookmark_borderOnly Fans – Meme Dump #4

December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.


May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.


Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.

BUT!

I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.

Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.

Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.

Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.

I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.

And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.

bookmark_borderBecome a Ghost, Fuck Attention

It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.


July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…

I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.


December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.

And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.

Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.

I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.

So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:

Become a ghost.

Fuck attention. Just hustle.

p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy???? – she loved to blog.

bookmark_borderWhen You’re Sick and Tired of All the Motivational Quotes…

The internet is becoming a wasteland, isn’t it? You’ve probably heard every single inspirational, motivational quote out there. I’m sure we ALL have. It makes you roll your eyes or make that puking face, doesn’t it?

The meme says:

It’s never too late to start believing in yourself.

Vlad the Impaler didn’t even start impaling people until his mid-30s.

*Also, don’t get me wrong. I love getting motivated and inspired, we all need it. I just don’t wanna hear it or see it ALL the time.

bookmark_borderThey’re Ghosts

I know I keep saying this but STS will fade out, eventually. It’s just a matter of WHEN.

I am not in the sharing mindset right now. I just want to be a ghost and wander around unnoticed.

There’s a lot of Saturn / Uranus influence in my long-term horoscope. Like part of me wants to preserve what I already have (Saturn), the other part of me wants to break away from it all and start over again (Uranus). I want to save for retirement/old age (Saturn) but at the same time I really want to take a year off from working (Uranus). These two ideas have been pushing back and forth in my psyche a whole lot lately; it’s maddening I tell you when transiting Saturn is in a strong square with my natal Uranus!

Oh look it’s me :/

I do have a semi-random thought that I DO want to share:

There’s a part of me that wishes to save all the hoes. Yes, you read that right. I really wish I could provide a safe, ethical working space for sex workers – strippers, dancers, entertainers, etc. No matter how much we talk about them now, they still get treated like crap unfortunately. Of course I know nothing about the business of running a strip club whatsoever but from what I’ve observed online, the people who run these joints are for the most part sleazy and not ethical. It sucks to read this because there’s tons of sex workers who love what they do – they want to be safe and get paid fairly just like the rest of us.

bookmark_borderFrom The Sopranos

A screenshot from an episode of The Sopranos. It says:

Psychics are heretics and thieves who practice witchcraft.

It’s kinda true, isn’t it? As much as I love psychic topics and witchcraft, scammers ABOUND these worlds. Well, ALL worlds actually.

How do you spot a scammer these days? Here’s a few observations – patterns if you will – based on what I’ve seen on Instagram:

+ They usually DM you first, soliciting their services to you. You’re not interested yet there they are, sliding into your DM’s.

+ They steal other people’s photos and identity. People I’ve followed have had their original photos and content stolen. Hence, the fugly watermarks became a necessity. Unfortunately, people’s words tends to get poached too, making it a lot harder to spot where it came from.

+ As soon as you follow some real IG profiles, they seem to “follow” you out of nowhere.

+ Nothing about their page looks authentic. They’re probably not showing their face either. If they are showing a pic, it’s probably somebody else’s.

+ They might threaten you via DM, saying you are “cursed” if you don’t follow their instructions AND send them a ridiculous amount of money before removing the “curse”. They’re playing on your fear of the unknown. Like, WHAT IF you are cursed? The seed’s been planted into your subconscious and it starts to makes you wonder…

Perhaps the more cunning of these types of people observe their targets from afar first to see who is most likely to fall for their scam. Maybe you’ve been having a streak of bad luck lately; you got into a terrible car accident, or something tragic happened recently that would cause you to put your guard down and believe that you might be “cursed”. You’ve also been a total wreck emotionally and aren’t feeling very grounded.

That’s when opportunity strikes for psychic scammers.

It happens sometimes even if you think you’re smart and careful. You’re gonna feel like a complete dumbass when it happens and that’s ok, lesson learned. Just don’t let it happen again.

Does it go both ways? Yes. I think the universe allows us to be vulnerable to these situations so we can learn from the experience.

Conclusion:

This was written on October 29, 2021. Their methods might have changed by then. Either way, always stay aware. They always say ‘be aware of your surroundings’ and that includes people as well. If something is too good to be true, it probably is. Someone offering you something for “free” isn’t necessarily free. If you have any doubts with something, trust your instincts. Research the person reaching out to you. If you can’t find any legit info about them online, it’s probably a scam. Don’t forget to block and report.

bookmark_borderFound: Take it from an Old Guy

This was written 10 years ago as a reply from a user on Reddit and was shared by Reddit on their IG account recently. I had to post it here because feels.

My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.

 

Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

 

bookmark_borderFFFFOUND

One of my favorite sites that had tons of inspiring images of all sorts was ffffound and Tumblr. And weheartit, which surprisingly is still around. I guess I have to look for my login but anyways the point of this post is that I’m probably going to post all the images that I’ve snagged over the years. Right now they’re just sitting in my hard drive with no one to appreciate them so, yeah. Here’s some of them.

I also apologize in advance if only some of these are credited. If you happen to know who the original artist or source is, please let me know.

Happy new moon in Taurus. Are you buying crypto? Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus so this is a good time to invest or do some manifesting around your finances.

bookmark_borderTook Me Beyond the Known Limits of My Psyche

I don’t normally embed Instagram posts – I always think they will disappear somehow and then I’d have to delete this but this one was worth embedding because I want to remember it – both the image and the caption – for as long as it exists. I still don’t know much about asteroids but I’ll get there eventually.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Mystic Medusa | ⓥ (@mystic.medusa)

bookmark_borderOpinion: How to Reconcile the Differences in Natal Chart Methods

Warning: this is going to be a brainy, head spinning post. Mostly a ramble about what I’ve been learning in astrology. As some of you know, I’ve been on the astro tip lately like studying it for real. It’s all I’ve been talking and thinking about. I only talk about it here though because I still feel like a total n00b.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll probably be a total n00b witch forever…there’s always something else to learn, you know?

Anyways, I’ve reached a point where things started to get really confusing and complex.

For example, when I look at my chart using the Placidus method – my sun is in the 10th house – the house of profession or your work.

But then I also looked at my birth chart through the Whole Signs method – my sun is in the 11th house – the house of friends, community.

I’m not going to say which method is more accurate because truthfully, there are more than just these two methods of interpreting a birth chart. I’ve observed so far that these two methods seem to be the most well known though.

And they’re very close; they’re just off by one house.

I guess you have to compare charts and see which one resonates with you more. Because at first, I was 100% sure that Placidus was more accurate. But then months later I revisited my Whole Signs chart again and now I’m not so sure.

Maybe they can just be blended together somehow? I don’t know…being a Libra moon, I can never decide and just pick something. I need balance, damn it!!

Oh yeah, I even looked at my Sidereal Astrology and that was completely different as well.

It’s all so overwhelming for my tiny human consciousness but I also feel more expansive knowing that I am beyond my human limitations. Thank you, Lord Jupiter!

Just remain curious and fluid about what you’re learning and hopefully after some time it won’t feel as overwhelming. This is how I felt about learning Tarot – it was TOO MUCH to learn at first. But 9 years into it I feel I’ve kind of reached a ceiling. I guess that’s why astrology is what I’m studying now.

Also, you know yourself better than anyone else, so it’s up to you to see what lands and what doesn’t. Professional astrologers – even tarot / oracle readers – spend a lot of time really knowing their stuff – interpreting and synthesizing what they see in your chart (or cards). Perhaps ‘synthesizing’ isn’t even the appropriate word but more like accepting that there will be contradictions in your chart or cards and that certain life situations will be in your favor and some will not. It’s a skill that takes years to study because there’s SO MUCH going on in a chart and there’s so much to learn.

bookmark_borderMeme Dump #7

The meme says:

Mars doesn’t wanna meet your stupid ass

This might be my favorite meme of all time. I LOL every time because I see myself in it A LOT.

Questions to think about today is: where is Mars in your natal chart? What sign and house is it in? And how does it play out in your life?

For me, Mars is in Leo in the 7th house (Whole Signs). In Placidus, it’s in the 6th house. Still don’t know what that fully means, I only understand the basics of it.

Let’s break it down a little then:

Mars – the planet of assertive (sometimes aggressive) actions & desires

Leo – a fixed fire sign; known to persevere in their actions. The word I’m actually looking for is loyalty.

7th house – the area where relationships and partnerships are concerned.

So then you combine or synthesize the three aspects together to create a statement that makes sense to the person.

For me, I interpret this as someone who is assertive and usually gets what they want when it comes to relationships; this could be in marriage or general partnerships. They also tend to last in the relationship (loyalty) so long as there is passion, fun, creativity, excitement.

 

*As I write this I can’t help but think of Roxy, my one Leo friend.???? I seriously miss that girl.