bookmark_borderKISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid

My previous boss (RIP) would often say this. And I think about it whenever my thoughts spiral out of control.

The irony is that my old boss would start to complicate things, then we’re made to follow his madness. Everyone contradicts themselves.

The font is Laser, an 80’s style font.

bookmark_borderOnly Fans – Meme Dump #4

December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.


May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.


Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.

BUT!

I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.

Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.

Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.

Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.

I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.

And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.

bookmark_borderBecome a Ghost, Fuck Attention

It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.


July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…

I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.


December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.

And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.

Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.

I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.

So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:

Become a ghost.

Fuck attention. Just hustle.

p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy???? – she loved to blog.

bookmark_borderMagick is Real

Sometimes there are no words to explain how magick works in my life…so I just create.

I wanted to put a watermark on this but that would’ve been dumb, taking away from the beauty of this repeating animated symbol.

I don’t know what to call this symbol, I’ve seen it so many times in magickal works. I saw it on a tarot deck that I own and in the Psychonaut Field Manual. Since this PDF was shared with me for free, I figured I would share it with you because the original link seems to be missing.

bookmark_borderThey’re Ghosts

I know I keep saying this but STS will fade out, eventually. It’s just a matter of WHEN.

I am not in the sharing mindset right now. I just want to be a ghost and wander around unnoticed.

There’s a lot of Saturn / Uranus influence in my long-term horoscope. Like part of me wants to preserve what I already have (Saturn), the other part of me wants to break away from it all and start over again (Uranus). I want to save for retirement/old age (Saturn) but at the same time I really want to take a year off from working (Uranus). These two ideas have been pushing back and forth in my psyche a whole lot lately; it’s maddening I tell you when transiting Saturn is in a strong square with my natal Uranus!

Oh look it’s me :/

I do have a semi-random thought that I DO want to share:

There’s a part of me that wishes to save all the hoes. Yes, you read that right. I really wish I could provide a safe, ethical working space for sex workers – strippers, dancers, entertainers, etc. No matter how much we talk about them now, they still get treated like crap unfortunately. Of course I know nothing about the business of running a strip club whatsoever but from what I’ve observed online, the people who run these joints are for the most part sleazy and not ethical. It sucks to read this because there’s tons of sex workers who love what they do – they want to be safe and get paid fairly just like the rest of us.

bookmark_borderSHERMGRAFIK Website Screenshots

It used to be so fun, challenging and also frustrating building websites; I was so obsessed about how mine looked and I was constantly tweaking it. The site was built in HTML via Dreamweaver, I was using iframes and tables to align elements. At the time, everybody was doing it that way.

Then WordPress came out.

All this reminiscing came about because I was thinking about Futura 2000’s website around 2004 when I started learning web design.

His website stood out to me because it was very experimental and out there. Everybody was using Flash to make their website graphics interactive.

However, I didn’t learn how to code actual HTML until 2014.

So yeah, before I switched to Save the Savages – Shermgrafik was my first ever domain.

Want to take a trip down www memory lane? You can see old versions of websites at Internet Archive.

bookmark_borderMeditation Video Experiments #1

I am really happy with how this video turned out, (even though YouTube butchered the quality after I uploaded it). So now it’s living on Vimeo and I tweaked the colors in Premiere. Getting older is pretty much equal to giving less fucks and not caring about others opinions and I love it. I am loving myself and what’s been wanting to express itself through video. I am thankful that I did those random talking videos to practice talking on Instagram, as it really did help me to be able to express myself.

Of course if you know me, I have to find ways to stand out from everyone else. Maybe it’s all been done before, but hey – it’s new to me and that’s all that matters.

Calling your energy back to yourself (at least to me) means you’re not liking, following and scrolling on Instagram as much. I was guilty of this for such a long time and it really kept me from creating anything for myself. Well not anymore; even if I don’t have a consistent amount of clients, I’ve made a promise to myself to stay creative and push myself to keep on learning.

Sales at my crystal shop have slowed down a lot, but at the same time I really don’t mind; it seems that the less sales I make, the less taxes I have to pay. Paying taxes in California sucks in my experience if you have a business – it’s no wonder so many people avoid paying it. Their system needs a major upgrade too as I got into a little messy situation with them for not paying on time, even though I did pay the full amount eventually. I exercised patience and persistence and it served me well.

bookmark_borderThe Out There is Right Here❤️?❤️

I drew this today (Monday, November 5 2018).

I’m here, trying to just be and go with the flow. I once saw someone on Twitter tweet this out: “only dead fish go with the flow”.

So as usual, I’m conflicted.

Like, how do we just go with the flow if we are conscious beings, when we’re wired a certain way. It really takes effort to reprogram our minds and to find balance between wanting stuff to happen already versus allowing it to come to you.

I want so many things, but mostly I want to learn everything that fascinates me.

Right now I have a list of things I want to learn or make my way towards:

Light Language
Medical Intuitive
Holistic Life Coach
Quantum Healing Hypnosis
Transpersonal Psychology

I’ve also been considering going into Massage Therapy but then again I’m not sure whether I’m ready to touch people…I’m still thinking about it though.

I don’t know. I want to focus on one thing and get really good at it. But it also feels like I need to do other things too. Why? Selling minerals is cool but tbh, I’m already losing interest in it. Perhaps I was a bit naive in thinking that I was always going to make consistent sales, but not only that – selling gets boring after a while. I feel that I also made some poor decisions and spent more than I made. Lesson learned, I guess.

My intuition is leading me to a consciousness upgrade, it seems. It wants me to learn all this stuff that I’ve never even considered wanting to get into.

So here I am again, wondering where my life is going next. I honestly don’t know anymore. This is what wanted to come out today while drawing.