VII of Cups – Viernes 2/23/18

It’s challenging to want to know everything and be everything…

I literally want to learn how to do A LOT of things. Where does one draw the line?

I also want to just do nothing, really. Have I lost my sense of identity? Probably. I have always thought that art would be my path. It is, just not in the way I imagined. It is still one of many possibilities, and I’m still holding on to the fantasy that I will create in that capacity again.

But let’s face it, as grownups it’s not exactly easy to make “art for art’s sake” – most things adults do has a purpose. But if it’s important to you, you will find the time.

I want to get better at business and marketing because I know it will benefit my little business…

But I also just want to let it unfold without me forcing it to be a certain way.

Everything has to be balanced, we all have to wait our turn. There’s a lot of everything right now, so much so that it’s saturated. It’s great that everyone is pursuing their dream, but not so great when the market is flooded. Everybody is selling, everybody is hustling. I’m right there with all those people, but I’ve also learned to be still and have patience.

I read this proverb from a little booklet (Learn Spanish – another thing that I really want to learn) and it has a beautiful, religious but also borderline occult undertone to it:


In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed is king.

Here’s my drawing for today which somehow evolved into a animated gif that I don’t mind at all; I hope to redraw it and post a better version. I’m pretty sure I’ve drawn VII of Cups before, digitally.

I was going to end the post here but another thought entered my mind: I think that’s why I like the Tarot and continue to work with it – it is everything. But when you see the bigger picture it is also a mandala, a wheel. And at any given moment, the wheel turns and we can be anything we want.

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I Am an Avatar

I’ve been on a solo introspection kind of trip. Loner but not lonely. I’m an only child so I have never minded being alone. But I did come to earth to learn how to relate to others via Life Path Number 6 and The Lovers card in Tarot.

I haven’t been sales or business motivated either and I haven’t really been posting consistently on Instagram at all. I’m beginning to doubt whether I am good with this whole business/social media thing, as I don’t like to be pushy/force people to buy and post on social media a lot.

I feel like maybe I am just a perpetrator, pretending to be in these roles to see which one fits. I also feel like a perpetrator in marketing because I don’t do everything that marketers are supposed to do. I can go on and on really.

Perhaps January is just a dreary month and my energy will ramp back up.

I got sick around my birthday in December AND I got sick with the flu mid January 2018 so yeah – it took me out of the loop and it’s taking a while for me to get fully back in my body. I still feel like I’m not fully “here”.

And now that I’m finally getting better, I’m just thankful to not be sick. I appreciate my body a whole lot more, I was able to recovery quickly and still go to work and do shit.

I’ve been traversing space and time, seeing myself beyond my own human consciousness – watching my own avatar do stuff in this 3d world. It gives me trippy feelings, like when I used to play a game on my phone like The Simpsons Tapped Out.

It makes me feel like YES – there’s an invisible, non-human force beyond me that is also ME, guiding me. Not like a puppet on a string, but more like a bigger, cosmic, infinite version of myself, watching me inside a sphere, the Earth…like a snowglobe.

The ALL is mind.

And though my mind can’t fully comprehend it, my intuition can. This is how we break through the feelings of being stuck, limited, trapped in a box; feeling like we’re not enough.

This is how one can be fearless, and to not worry that you didn’t save up your money in a 401k or didn’t follow your parents’ idea of what you’re supposed to be in this world.

Anyway, this is how I’ve been feeling lately. I had to draw this a few times before I was satisfied with showing it. Maybe I will draw it again, I need a bigger piece of paper though.

We are all avatars.

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A Celtic Cross Reading for Myself – 12/6/2017

I am and have been living in the eternal now moment more these days. Life has been feeling more and more timeless the more I let go of certain concepts, like birthdays.

Like today is supposed to be my “40th” birthday but what does that really mean? It’s a construct, created by humans to measure time.

Anyways, before I ramble on about esoteric things – the whole purpose of this blog post was to post my first Celtic Cross reading I did for myself today. For the longest time, I feel as if I have been intimidated by this spread and was actually looking for someone to read my cards for me; but through the process of searching for someone I realized that I ‘could’ just read for myself (even though I still need help from a book). To anyone who is reading this, I’m not a professional tarot reader at all – I just read for myself.

So here is a photo of my reading using my favorite deck the HK Tarot with the card and card position meanings:

Position 1  / Heart of the Matter: IV of Pentacles

Position 2 / Opposing Factor: I The Magician

Position 3 / Root Cause or Unconscious Influence: XV The Devil

Position 4 / The Past: Page of Cups

Position 5 / Attitudes and Beliefs or Conscious Influence: IV The Emperor

Position 6 / Future or Approaching Influence: Ace of Wands

Position 7 / You as Your Present Self: II of Pentacles

Position 8 / You as Others See You: IX The Hermit

Position 9 / Guidance: III of Pentacles

Position 10 / Outcome: X of Pentacles

I’ve definitely been focused on business stuff lately so of course it makes total sense that a lot of pentacles are present in my reading. I’ve had money on my mind a lot – how to make it, how to keep it, how to make more of it in a way that’s enjoyable to me. The devil is ever present, reminding me of my strong attachments to material wealth (money).

I used Joan Bunning’s Learning The Tarot as my guide; it was one of the first tarot books I got for myself and seems to be the book I still go back to often.

Do you have a tarot book that you really like? I’d love to know what books you read.

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Petitioning the Spirits through Candle Magic

So I don’t like to admit that I was sort of bumming out that sales had really slowed down at Metaphysical Vibes and on Etsy, a little depressed even. But I think that your first year as a small business is always the hardest – there are days when I start to question myself, there are days when I don’t know if I will even last. Luckily the crystals always know how to bring me back to my center and then I am myself again.

I learned recently that commitment to being consistent is the most challenging thing for me right now. Consistency when it comes to posting to social media, consistency in posting crystals to the shop. I’m definitely doing it but a small part of me is also getting a little tired.

Consistency is hard; I read something in a book that 60% of all new businesses fail within the first year. That and the motivation to keep at it especially when you’re not seeing the results you want is the hardest.

One of my flaws is that I’m impatient; kind and patient with everyone else but impatient with myself. I couldn’t just sit around anymore, I had to do something to get things moving a little bit.

So that’s when I finally decided to order 2 candles from Jessyka Winston of to help me get some business back. Everyone’s been raving about her fixed candles so I wanted to see for myself. Long story short, the candle did (and is still doing it’s work) even before I actually lit it and business started to pick up again. I’m so thankful for that.

I guess the point of this blog post is – don’t be too proud to ask the spirits for help. Yes we go with the cosmic flow of the universe, but we can also do some things to get it moving. We all need a little help sometimes whether we need money, a better job or a new relationship. For me, I wanted better business.

And while you are asking for help, don’t expect the spirits to do ALL the work for you. You still have to do your part – meaning that you have to be really intentional with what you want.

Pyrite with Quartz is not for sale, it’s from my personal collection. Pyrite is the perfect mineral for attracting money, wealth and making shit happen aka manifestation (especially for those who have a business or are thinking of starting one). Also a great and masculine protector from negative energies.

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The Inner Temple

I end up revisiting old graphic artworks because they still hold meaning for me. As a matter of fact, they become more relevant over time.

We’re all constantly creating or recreating our own reality, our own microcosms. Everyone’s living in their own universe, a world that they created.

Shermgrafik > Save the Savages > Metaphysical Vibes are my worlds.

The more I look at this, the more I realize that this is my Inner Temple. My inner world where all the things I love reside and collide to create something new. And do I love using bright colors in my design work. I love seeing those same colors on window splashes and handpainted lettering.

Don’t live life by some cheesy, stale quote. I get that quotes are really popular on the internet right now. I get a lot of followers who post nothing but quotes. Learn to exercise your brain – create your own quotes that are unique to you.

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New Moon in Virgo Drawing – 09/18/17

Boredom can often lead to creativity.

And today I feel bored. Bored with the work I’m doing, bored with the content. Bored with my body, I want to float away.

The moon has a way of drawing that out I think; making you think you’ve cleared and moved past a certain issue, yet it comes back somehow. It’s a vicious cycle, really. One minute I’m grateful for what I have, next minute I’m bored af and questioning myself yet again as to why I’m still here. It drives me nuts.

We are earthy/airy/fiery/watery/spiritual beings all at once and the moon pulls on the watery, emotional/feeling parts of ourselves and takes us through those cycles.

I dream about the crystal store and imagine myself working at home. That’s all I want really.

I don’t want to be an entrepreneur who works on their laptop at the beach. Although that sounds very nice and great if you are doing it but I don’t want to WORK at the beach. I want to ENJOY the beach. I want to be present – breathe deeply, smell the ocean air, run sand through my hands and feet.

But I really just want to be at home.

Home is where I feel the most comfortable and happy.

I’m a simple human with simple needs.

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A Moment of Doubt When Diving Into the Unknown

A moment of doubt that needs to be aired out…

You made a decision and decided to commit to it, but the doubts and other naysaying aspects of yourself (all coming from you) start creeping into the mind and like literally a bunch of ‘what ifs’ start to come up. I’m not going to mention those ‘what ifs’ because they don’t exist, but my mind wants me to acknowledge them and make them come true through psychological repetition…

Why did I make it hard for myself?

Why didn’t I just sell on Etsy like everyone else?

Because you’re not like everyone else. I repeat: you’re NOT like everyone else.

You made it hard for yourself because deep down, you like a challenge; you like to problem solve and you like to learn and grow even though growth is annoying and a bit uncomfortable considering the money you’re investing into it. It’s a bit scary for you isn’t it…spending money and wondering if you’re going to get it back? Selling crystals on Etsy might’ve been way easier, but much harder for you to stand out since there’s so many people selling crystals & gemstones on there. Being outside of a selling platform might be harder but you’ll stand out more and you have more creative freedom. You’ve made the decision to become a legit small business so now stick with it. Things will not always be easy but be patient and persist, keep doing what you need to do to make your business grow and trust that it is already growing.

So get over your ridiculous ‘what ifs’. They don’t exist.

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Cosmic Wave Girl

It’s been a minute since I posted a drawing. I think it’s important to pick up a pen or pencil everyday and write, draw or just doodle. I don’t always practice what I preach though and I want to change that. These days I’m usually typing or using my Wacom pen to create digital content. I don’t like to setup reminders on my phone to do things but I think I’m going to have to.

If I don’t draw, I’m not as creative. If I don’t write, I can’t articulate what I want to say as well. If I don’t doodle, my mind can’t wander and discover something new.

But at the same time, I don’t have a lot to say these days. I’m pretty much minding my own business – working, playing, experimenting, relaxing.

Like everyone I have goals but I still don’t know how they will manifest or what will happen next. That is part of living, isn’t it? As much as we fill our minds with knowledge, as much as we focus our will on our intentions, we still CAN’T fully know everything.

So let go and go with the flow. Ride the cosmic wave.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are well. I hope you are happy and living the life you want to live.✨

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Who Am I and What Am I?

At this moment I exist in a female human form, living somewhere in the vast metropolis of Los Angeles…

but when I am reminded of what I really am – I am genderless, ambiguous, eternal. I am one with you, yet we are separate.

Although I am not a psychic, a healer, a teacher or coach…

I really like what those people do and the tools they work with interest me very much.

Let’s just say that I am a part of the metaphysical community,

but I’m still figuring out my role.

For now, I intend to experiment with having an ecommerce store selling crystals.

But to where will that take me next, I don’t know.

I’m just going with the flow, the current, the cosmic waves.

I aim to do business from the heart and to not worry about what other people are doing. Or to compare myself to them.

Again, I feel as if I started late. My mind wants to tell me that I should’ve done this a few years ago, because now…EVERYONE is doing it. But truthfully, I wasn’t even in the right mind or heart. I had no knowledge or understanding of having a small business, nor did I even have the desire to start. It sounded complicated and I just wasn’t into it at all. Also, I didn’t know much about crystals the way I do now…and I’m STILL learning! I will always be learning until I die, this is earth school after all.

Everything happens at the perfect time and I trust that.

I intend to have fun, enjoy the process, learn from the challenges and bask in my success…

and I hope that I can help others along the way and also learn from those who already did it as well.

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