In the Pursuit of Healing and the Unknown

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ve probably heard me say this often:

I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

And it’s quite true.

I don’t know why I keep pursuing certain things; I don’t know why I am interested in wanting to learn Reiki, Crystal Healing and other healing modalities…or why I even decided to sell crystals and stones. I feel like I’m not the type, yet on the contrary here I am. The fantasy I had a year ago became a full blown reality; having an online business is expensive af, I imagine having a brick and mortar would be even more. I still really love the crystals though, the ones who are sitting in my home have brought so much good to my life.

Sales have been slow last month but that’s fine; I’m learning to trust the ebb and flow.

A lot of things don’t make sense to me right now, but again I’m going to trust it.

It would be a lot more practical of me to take more classes in computer programming, marketing, design, motion graphics, etc. More classes related to my work to stay competitive or whatever; keep up with everyone else and make more $$$…

But I’m just not into it right now. Yeah I love money, I mean who doesn’t? But I’m not into hustling or chasing money.

I’ve also been noticing recently that employers don’t pay people as much for being skilled. If anything, people are being laid off for being highly skilled AND making too much.

Things are always changing, even faster now it seems.

On the upside, I feel completely at peace. I am happy for no reason.

If you also know me from the past, you know that I lived within my ego. And while it had its highs, a lot of it was low vibrational.

What are people going to remember you for, really?

I can look back and say I was a low vibrational human being. Lol! I guess if you want to insult somebody you can start calling them a “low vibrational being”. They would probably be confused by that, or not. Try it and report back 😉

Anyways, so that’s what’s been going on with me.

We’re all evolving and becoming one with our Selves, one with the Higher Consciousness.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are doing what feels good and right for you…even if it doesn’t make sense! I feel as I will probably have less friends after this round. You will look back and then it will all make sense. Trust yourself, everything will be fine.

All my love to you.❤

[I made this drawing today to go with my blog post and turned it into an animated gif again. Sorry (not sorry), all I seem to draw are pyramids, stars and eyes now. I’m boring I know and I don’t care. Artists are SO full of themselves, aren’t they? I don’t even know who is reading my blog tbh, so.]

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Sacred Geometry Spiral Living

All I’ve been wanting to do lately is just doodle sacred geometry shapes and symbols. I wanted to draw this while at work today but alas I was on a deadline. And then I made a gif out of it a day later.

I feel as if something is being activated in me but I’m not sure what it is. I read something online recently about the light body – that it is activated in levels.

I’m drawn to merkaba, pyramid, sri yantra, stars, eyes and infinity symbols. I’ve been drawing them a lot repetitively, I also want them tattooed on me.👁🌀🔺🌀🔻🌀👁

Been reading about the Lemurians, Atlanteans, the Pleiadeans; my psychic friend told me in the beginning of January 2018 that I was Lemurian/Atlantean in a past life…which in a way makes total sense that I’m drawn to Lemurian crystals and was able to sell them successfully, or is it only because most everyone in the crystal world reveres them? Hard to tell but I’m learning to trust that what I feel is true for me.

Speaking of past lives, I’m really into the subject but still have no clue who I was in the past. I guess it doesn’t matter so much unless it’s affecting my current lifetime in a negative way.

All I know is I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I’m definitely IN the spiral and I can’t relate to most people these days unless we’re into the same stuff.

I’m lost and I don’t want to be found. There is so much to learn about the past, present, future and other dimensions.

It’s officially been a year since I started Metaphysical Vibes. I applied for a business license & seller’s permit around this time in April 2017 and opened to the public on Earth Day, April 22nd. What an interesting exercise in manifestation this has been, I don’t know what’s next as I’m learning so much about myself and haven’t been spending money on the business as I spent a lot last year, so I’m paying down my debt. I’m taking an 8 week course in Trans Crystal Therapy at The Crystal Matrix – learning and working with the stones and their associated chakras, scanning the body with pendulums and Quartz crystals, becoming more aware of our auras, etc. I love my teacher and the people I’m taking the course with. I’m definitely growing and transforming, into what I have yet to discover. The Death card appeared this week, as did The Fool.

Open mind, open heart. Stay curious as there is so much more to it than just the physical world. Peace, love and blessings if you are reading this.✨❤✨

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Owl of Knowledge 01/08/18

Resting, observing, watching everyone from a higher place.

I blend in with my surroundings, I become one with it. I am comfortable and free in the cold night sky, hidden among the trees. My feathers keep me warm.

I find peace and freedom in solitude, I hear and see all.

The pale yellow moon is my light, illuminating the fields. Even without her, I see with perfect vision.

I see a slight movement, I can hear your tiny heart beating fast, nervous, anxious, afraid.

I am Death and I coming down on you swiftly.

My wingspan is majestic and my talons are sharp.

You won’t feel a thing.

You will die only to live again and again.

You will remember bits and pieces of a violent past, you will be drawn to certain things without fully knowing why.

You will remember. And when it all starts to make sense,

you will die again.

And will be reborn into another finite body.

The infinite cycle continues.

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A Crystalline Sky – Thursday 01/04/2018

To will, to dare, to dream, to want…

but don’t expect it to arrive exactly in the way you imagined.

Wanting without expecting it to be a certain way certainly feels like a balancing act; want it too much and you become obsessed, want it too little but then nothing happens. That’s why they call spirituality a practice – something you have to constantly work on. The non-attachment part can get tricky.

There’s lots of things I should be doing for Metaphysical Vibes to achieve certain results but haven’t quite gotten around to doing, like YouTube videos. I’m also supposed to be blogging a lot more too; actually I’m supposed to be creating LOTS of content on a consistent basis. Not sure if I can do it all though. Some days I feel like I should be posting more on Instagram or do an auction or a sale like everybody else yadda yadda…

But it all seems exhausting. Most of the time I just end up doing nothing and I’m totally fine with that.

But I guess I am doing something, I’m typing my thoughts here and practicing my writing. And I’ve been playing with the image above.

So I have resolved to not compete with anyone and just go at my own pace, that’s what I’m doing.

Reminding myself that I’m not everybody else so why do I feel the need to do what everyone else is doing?

Success is different for everybody, and I feel that I am already successful. Now I just have to step it up and see how far I can go with the resources I have.

I feel pretty grateful that I’ve gotten this far and I know it can only get better from here.

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A Celtic Cross Reading for Myself – 12/6/2017

I am and have been living in the eternal now moment more these days. Life has been feeling more and more timeless the more I let go of certain concepts, like birthdays.

Like today is supposed to be my “40th” birthday but what does that really mean? It’s a construct, created by humans to measure time.

Anyways, before I ramble on about esoteric things – the whole purpose of this blog post was to post my first Celtic Cross reading I did for myself today. For the longest time, I feel as if I have been intimidated by this spread and was actually looking for someone to read my cards for me; but through the process of searching for someone I realized that I ‘could’ just read for myself (even though I still need help from a book). To anyone who is reading this, I’m not a professional tarot reader at all – I just read for myself.

So here is a photo of my reading using my favorite deck the HK Tarot with the card and card position meanings:

Position 1  / Heart of the Matter: IV of Pentacles

Position 2 / Opposing Factor: I The Magician

Position 3 / Root Cause or Unconscious Influence: XV The Devil

Position 4 / The Past: Page of Cups

Position 5 / Attitudes and Beliefs or Conscious Influence: IV The Emperor

Position 6 / Future or Approaching Influence: Ace of Wands

Position 7 / You as Your Present Self: II of Pentacles

Position 8 / You as Others See You: IX The Hermit

Position 9 / Guidance: III of Pentacles

Position 10 / Outcome: X of Pentacles

I’ve definitely been focused on business stuff lately so of course it makes total sense that a lot of pentacles are present in my reading. I’ve had money on my mind a lot – how to make it, how to keep it, how to make more of it in a way that’s enjoyable to me. The devil is ever present, reminding me of my strong attachments to material wealth (money).

I used Joan Bunning’s Learning The Tarot as my guide; it was one of the first tarot books I got for myself and seems to be the book I still go back to often.

Do you have a tarot book that you really like? I’d love to know what books you read.

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Petitioning the Spirits through Candle Magic

So I don’t like to admit that I was sort of bumming out that sales had really slowed down at Metaphysical Vibes and on Etsy, a little depressed even. But I think that your first year as a small business is always the hardest – there are days when I start to question myself, there are days when I don’t know if I will even last. Luckily the crystals always know how to bring me back to my center and then I am myself again.

I learned recently that commitment to being consistent is the most challenging thing for me right now. Consistency when it comes to posting to social media, consistency in posting crystals to the shop. I’m definitely doing it but a small part of me is also getting a little tired.

Consistency is hard; I read something in a book that 60% of all new businesses fail within the first year. That and the motivation to keep at it especially when you’re not seeing the results you want is the hardest.

One of my flaws is that I’m impatient; kind and patient with everyone else but impatient with myself. I couldn’t just sit around anymore, I had to do something to get things moving a little bit.

So that’s when I finally decided to order 2 candles from Jessyka Winston of hausofhoodoo.com to help me get some business back. Everyone’s been raving about her fixed candles so I wanted to see for myself. Long story short, the candle did (and is still doing it’s work) even before I actually lit it and business started to pick up again. I’m so thankful for that.

I guess the point of this blog post is – don’t be too proud to ask the spirits for help. Yes we go with the cosmic flow of the universe, but we can also do some things to get it moving. We all need a little help sometimes whether we need money, a better job or a new relationship. For me, I wanted better business.

And while you are asking for help, don’t expect the spirits to do ALL the work for you. You still have to do your part – meaning that you have to be really intentional with what you want.

Pyrite with Quartz is not for sale, it’s from my personal collection. Pyrite is the perfect mineral for attracting money, wealth and making shit happen aka manifestation (especially for those who have a business or are thinking of starting one). Also a great and masculine protector from negative energies.

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Quiet Like the Stones

Random personal/small business update:

The more I work with crystals, the less I want to talk. I’ve not said a word on my personal Instagram or Twitter and I almost want to delete both of them. It seems as if I have nothing to say. I’ve also been watching less TV and am ready to cut off cable; I haven’t even watched Stranger Things Season 2.

I’m becoming more quiet and antisocial, except with the people I already know. Not wanting to be around basic people, talking about basic shit. It seems as if the crystals don’t want me to taint my energy either; it doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone, I just don’t want to talk about those things. If you don’t want to talk about those things, that also means you don’t want to be around those same people who talk about those things.

I’m also starting to sound like a fucking crazy person, talking about crystals and how they “talk” to me. FYI they don’t talk to me, at least not in the way that you and I would think; it’s more of a subtle, psychic impression that almost sounds like it’s coming from me but it’s not. And if you let your mind overthink you might just miss it.

Which brings me to the next point: I’m losing my mind and I couldn’t be happier. My mind has taken a back seat and I’m alright with that. I feel less judge-y and opinionated about people and things, including myself…ESPECIALLY myself. I just don’t care anymore.

The past version of me would probably be feeling nervous, anxious, afraid that I’ve spent a lot of money to fill up the crystal shop. But surprisingly, I don’t. This must be some kind of test to see where I’m at with the spiritual work I’m doing while simultaneously building the business.

I really don’t know if I’m doing the right thing at all, but it doesn’t feel wrong either. I trust that everything will work out if I remain consistent and not quit before reaching my first year.

The business of selling crystals is actually quite competitive; and while it is competitive, it’s also a good indication that business is going great – that there’s an actual market for it.

And that’s all I have to say. The world is evolving; a lot of women are speaking out about rape culture and inappropriate sexual behavior, the patriarchy is crashing down, a lot of people are realizing that there is more than meets the physical eye.

If you are interested in checking out my crystal shop, visit Metaphysical Vibes.

Thanks to everyone who is visiting this little blog of mine, I hope it’s helping you in some way.🖤

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Halloween Self-Portrait 2017 + Update

So sales have slowed down and I’m slightly frustrated by it. I guess I got spoiled when everything ramped up in the last couple of months. But I suppose this gives me time to reflect and be thankful for my accomplishments.

On October 22nd, 2017 I reached my 6 month mark being in business.

What are the pros and cons of having a small business? I will tell you from my perspective:

Pro #1: I really enjoy learning about the crystals as well as looking for crystals and stones to add to the shop.

Con #1: You WILL be spending money. There’s really no way around it.

💎🌈💎🌈

Pro #2: I get to design/create/market things my way.

Con #2: You WILL be spending A WHOLE LOT of money.

There’s more but I will stop right there.

I didn’t take out a loan either, I was using my own savings and putting everything on a credit card and paying it back in huge amounts. But something happened recently where a family member borrowed a huge chunk of money and now I have no idea if it will be paid back. That’s a whole lot of uncertainty right there. So now I’m trying to figure out how to keep the business going while spending less? In other words, how to make my money last.

So that’s where I’m at currently. I knew from the getgo that this would be challenging and a different experience for me and I’m not about to give up right before I reach my first year. I know lots of small businesses fail and I don’t want to be one of them.

This is not a cry for help by the way. I’m just putting my thoughts down. I know everything will be fine, I just have to stay motivated, especially when it slows down.

I guess I would be freaking out if I didn’t have a job.

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Is the Internet Mysterious…

Or am I just finally doing something right on this little blog of mine? I honestly don’t know. If you’re reading this, this is just a record of the personal and small business stuff that I want to share with the public. In other words, just a personal artsy fartsy, occult-y, small business blog.

I’m not sure why I’m getting regular visitors to this website now. Save the Savages was setup because I was transitioning from my graffiti artist identity to this. And I still don’t know what “this” is. I’ve stopped defining it. It’s just whatever I’m into.

Am I an artist? Yes. I don’t create art as much as I’d like to but I’m still an artist. Am I a designer? Yes, I design for work mostly and a little bit for my small business. Am I an online marketer, web designer, wife and cat mom? Yes, I am all of those things too. At this point I am multidimensional and always has been, as we all are really. Lots of things that I used to bitch about have come in handy for me as I apply certain techniques to the small business. I mean, how synchronistic is that?

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t limit yourself anymore. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do it. Ask yourself why, and keeping asking why. Keep asking yourself until you’re out of reasons or excuses. If you’re passionate about something, mix it with your other passions. Combine them and create a hybrid niche for yourself. Figure out a way to make money doing what you love.

You are God/Goddess afterall. You are the Universe experiencing itself.

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