bookmark_borderOnly Fans – Meme Dump #4

December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.


May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.


Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.

BUT!

I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.

Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.

Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.

Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.

I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.

And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.

bookmark_borderBecome a Ghost, Fuck Attention

It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.


July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…

I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.


December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.

And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.

Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.

I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.

So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:

Become a ghost.

Fuck attention. Just hustle.

p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy???? – she loved to blog.

bookmark_borderNew Moon Girl – Animated Drawing

Sat 8/20/22: bumping this up because I was looking for her.

I made her blink, maybe I will do a tutorial on how to do that. I’m pretty sure I posted the original drawing here somewhere…

nevermind, here it is from 2017.

Some random thoughts today:

I’m really glad I have this blog. Instagram and other social media hangouts may seem permanent, but it’s not your property. At least I can say this is my property. So if someone on Instagram decides they don’t like my post, they can report me. Then I would be on IG’s radar which means they can do other things, like shadow ban or disable my account.

Well I’m glad I don’t have a ton of followers on there, I don’t have to feel so attached like many others do who have built up a following on there. In some ways, I can relate more to porn stars and sex workers – who are used to having their accounts banned on a regular basis.

The impermanence of it all.

bookmark_borderComplex Thoughts, Feelings, etc…

It’s strange, isn’t it? The things we’ve spent time building up crumbles eventually as soon as people start to make fun of it.

Perhaps I’m too overly concerned…sensitive…about what people think but at the same time, you also have to put your feelers out there to see what people actually think.

It can be a downer on your energy for sure and it makes you want to hide (at least for me).

For example – my crystal shop. A few months ago on Reddit, I put up a photo of crystals for sale – some were natural while some were aura treated. It was then reposted in a subreddit forum called Mineral Gore. The purpose of the subreddit is to post unnatural, manmade or enhanced mineral specimens so people can comment at how ugly and atrocious they are.

One man’s treasure is another man’s trash. Again, to each their own.

But still, it personally affected me and I never wanted to post again.

The point of this post is that people ARE out there…UNCONSCIOUSLY making you feel bad for the things that you personally love. And when somebody shares their opinion that you don’t necessarily agree with regarding that thing you love, you’re most likely going to feel like shit and you’re going to want to hide.

Just understand that most people aren’t doing it on purpose or personally attacking you, they’re just sharing their opinion and preference.

But it still comes off harsh.

Reddit is a strange place…well, all social media in general. It feels good to have your posts or comments “liked” or “upvoted”, it feels awful to have them “downvoted” or when people leave shitty comments.

It’s hard to not take things personally, but I’ll keep on working on it.

(Yes, that’s me in the background with my husband taking a photo of this claw machine filled with kawaii stuffed animals).

bookmark_borderSocial Media Observations & Ramblings

Mostly based on my own behavior, I noticed that:

– People just aren’t paying attention as much. For me personally, my attention span dips in and out. The millions of people promoting or sharing something can be taxing and I have other things on my mind these days. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old? Idk. I was also one of those people promoting or sharing something for a hot minute…I got sick of myself.

– One of the things I learned about marketing your business is that if you want people to pay attention, then you have to post A LOT. This is how people will remember you, through repetition. It’s annoying as fuck tbh but it works. Posting a lot in my opinion though, eventually leads to burnout especially if it’s not producing some kind of return (a lead or a sale of your product). I definitely felt this with my crystal shop and that’s why I haven’t posted in some time now. Although I had a couple of loyal folks who always bought crystals from me (if you’re reading this – thank you, I love & appreciate you!), the majority of my crystal sales never came from posting on Instagram anyways.

– Posting a lot won’t necessarily bring the results you want. If anything, the majority of people just want to be entertained by what you post. They don’t always want to buy, which is why I think the shop section of IG is pointless. I’m definitely one of those people who also rejects a lot of ads (most of them are irrelevant anyway)…which is why it’s hard for me to do ads for my own business. Too critical for my own good.

– I haven’t been very successful with my own entrepreneurial endeavors; thanks to the neverending pandemic, I kinda gave up on it. I tried it, but wasn’t built for it. Did the universe spare me from struggling and putting myself in a situation I didn’t really want to be in? Probably. That or being programmed to be an employee for life has taken its toll.

– As usual, I’m bored with everything that I’m doing and I don’t know what’s next for me. A friend did a channeled card reading for me recently and also sensed my eternal state of boredom. Sigh. Anyways, here’s an excerpt from Mystic Medusa‘s Astral DNA Report aka her take on my natal chart that at least gives me some clues as to why I can’t just settle as a “personal brand”:

Neptune House X

Their public image can be mysterious: an alias, nom de plume or a brand conceals the true persona. Tenth House Neptune people are adrift in an ocean of treacherous career currents until they find or create their true vocation. Their c.v. is peppered with surreal episodes, a twilight zone of enigmatic gigs and of course, quite a few off-c.v. escapades. Whatever their official occupation, their title is really “magician” or “rainmaker.”

Enjoy this gif I made. Happy Scorpio season!

bookmark_borderFound: Take it from an Old Guy

This was written 10 years ago as a reply from a user on Reddit and was shared by Reddit on their IG account recently. I had to post it here because feels.

My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.

 

Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

 

bookmark_borderTook Me Beyond the Known Limits of My Psyche

I don’t normally embed Instagram posts – I always think they will disappear somehow and then I’d have to delete this but this one was worth embedding because I want to remember it – both the image and the caption – for as long as it exists. I still don’t know much about asteroids but I’ll get there eventually.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Mystic Medusa | ⓥ (@mystic.medusa)

bookmark_borderYou’ve Been Banned or Suspended from Social Media. What To Do?

Or: you work in the adult entertainment industry and now you’ve been banned or suspended from social media. Most likely for good. This is my current situation, since last year August 2020 on Twitter.

What do you do next? How the heck do you even promote your content now?

First let me say that I am not a sex worker but I can relate to this as I am an internet marketer who promotes adult entertainment. Both things tend to be intertwined as there wouldn’t be adult entertainment without sex workers. Even if it is just “virtual” I have to at least know wtf I’m talking about in order to market it effectively. I’ve been in this industry for 10 years.

So before I lose my train of thought here are some suggestions that might help you promote your services in a whole different way:

+ Create your own property. Make sure you pick a web hosting company that allows adult XXX themed sites. Once your website is up and running, post good content and SEO the heck out of it. You will start to get organic traffic in no time. Even if you have to describe yourself in ridiculously obvious ways (ex: dark haired, brown skin, heavily tattooed big booty fat girl or whatever), do it anyway because that is exactly how people tend to search.

+ Buy your own traffic. You can build your own audience by doing so.

+ If you really need to get back on social media, maybe it’s best to get a new phone or a new computer. Or both. I know that I can’t get back on because of my devices. They pretty much know who I am. So if I were to get back on, I would have to get a new phone or a new computer. And post normal shit like a regular person and not do anything that might get me banned.

The sad thing is, even if you didn’t do anything wrong – there’s still a good chance you might still get banned. This is the world we live in now.

+ Pay others to promote you or do some kind of barter. I know spending money to promote doesn’t sound so great. Which is why the first two options are the best one, I think.

+ Find other online communities to hang out in. Nobody likes being promoted or advertised to, so it’s best to build relationships with your prospects.

+ Thinking large here than just trying to join another online community but maybe you can collaborate with like-minded individuals to create a whole new platform. I have been thinking for a while now that the adult entertainment industry – whether they’re small or large players – need their own social media platform, a place online where we could hang out and post all the adult content we wanted. Instead of trying to mingle with mainstream entertainment, those who want to actually be there would come and sign up.

I know most of these suggestions don’t sound good because you have to spend money before you can see a return on investment.

Why did I get suspended anyway? I don’t really know but supposedly I violated their terms. Also when you work for a company that deals with adult content and provides adult entertainment services, there’s always competition. So there’s a high chance that someone didn’t like that we were promoting so much and started reporting or flagging us so we would be out of the picture.

Unfortunately, that’s part of the business; when people see you as competition they’ll find a way to eliminate you.

If it can happen to someone like me who is an absolute nobody, then I’m sure sex workers will be next (if it isn’t already happening). I mean, just look at Instagram’s new TOS. And how right-wing conservatives targeted Pornhub.

Expect more of this to happen so don’t get attached to your social media accounts. But also know that adult traffic will not go away. There’s so much you can do with it. But you’ll have to be okay with spending money.

* I didn’t know what photo to add to this post, so here’s a test image of a candy text effect in Photoshop. I use it a lot for my adult graphics. This is the tutorial I followed.

bookmark_borderWhy Do I Have SO MANY Instagrams…

I have been grappling with this question for some time now and I finally have an answer that I’m satisfied with:

I simply have a need to express different aspects of myself.

So there. That is the answer.

There is no point in fighting myself about it.

Or feeling bad that I can’t be consistent with any of them.

Anyway, here is a digital doodle of some pentacle flowers as I’ve got investments, money and visions of a future where we can all thrive on my mind. More than ever since we are now in the Age of Aquarius. The self and the collective are intertwined.

I also wanted to share this: if you’re feeling confused about your life and all your impulses – why you do the things you do, what motivates you, why you constantly contradict yourself, etcetera; I highly suggest looking at your astrological birth chart or getting a natal chart report. Astrology has answered so many questions for me, personally.

Also, if you’re in the giving mood please take a look at this awesome Instagram called Transanta.

bookmark_borderOnly Fans Update – 9/17/20

My Only Fans isn’t poppin and here’s why:

  • I’m not fucking popular.
  • I’m not showing any nudes.
  • I’m not promoting enough.

Become or do the opposite of the 3 I just mentioned above and I’m 100% sure your Only Fans will be POPPIN. (Don’t know why I picked “poppin” – it seemed the most appropriate word).

My reason for this is that I simply would rather be low key about it. If I start promoting heavy like everyone else then I will for sure attract creeps and rudeass subscribers who will demand shit from me and I really don’t want that.

Most people are lured by money but can’t see that there’s a price to pay for it. I would rather have my peace & privacy (whatever that actually means). I don’t think I can handle the fame, rude comments and lack of privacy. I can see that some of these girls are already suffering from it.

So I’m taking it slow and not forcing myself to do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing.

If you do go on Only Fans, or any of these platforms (there are more now that are springing up btw with better payouts) – be sure that you’re not doing it for the money. Otherwise you’ll be disappointed.

Do it because you like making content and that it’s a creative outlet for you.

Based on my observations so far, the ones who are making bank from Only Fans have a huge following on Twitter, Instagram or YouTube. And they’re young and attractive. And they’re showing nudes.

I’ve only found someone on Only Fans close to my age; she’s a few years older than me and is successful and that would be Sinnamon Love and Tera Patrick. The only difference is that they’re retired porn stars with huge followings and I’m just a nobody.

To be continued…

Here’s a trippy animated gif that I made – I drew the triangles in Photoshop with my Wacom tablet, animated them and added some light in the middle. I wish I could remember how I actually did it though.