Believing in something or believing in absolutely nothing.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

Being right or being wrong, it’s a 50/50 chance.

The crystals & stones may or may not have any healing properties at all. It really was just you all along, healing yourself. It’s a 50/50 chance.

Astrologers versus astronomers.
Metaphysicians versus scientists.
Meat eaters versus vegans.
Round Earth vs Flat Earth.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

It’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong these days. I feel as if I’ve been oscillating between my own beliefs and then questioning them lately.

Even Flat Earthers can be convincing. So just pick something and stick with it. Believe in all your heart and soul that it’s right and true for YOU at this moment. Don’t worry about everyone else and don’t let anyone shame you for it either.

Of course you are allowed to change your mind.

So many people want to give you advice and tell you what to do. It can be overwhelming and irritating especially when you didn’t fucking ask.

If none of it makes sense anymore, then just pick yourself. Be an expert on you. Take advice from your Self, as it always knows what to do next. Even when you get a tarot reading from somebody else and they tell you what they see from the cards, deep down you already kinda know what’s going on with you, right?

You know who you are, and I know who I am.
I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free.

I better write this down before I forget:

Do you know how humans work the internet for their purposes?

You have multiple social media accounts – one for each version of yourself; one for personal, one for work or business or a side project; one to lurk on other people, one for your pet, etc.

But you are still the same person operating those different accounts. Same with a business that has multiple DBAs (Doing Business As)

On a universal scale, it is the same with Source. Source has so many ♾ infinite ♾ versions of Itself, but it is still the same Source.

As above, so below. As within, so without.

Also sidenote: I’m losing interest in working with regular Tarot cards, particularly Rider Waite. I want Tarot cards that have no people in it. Especially since ethnicity & diversity are lacking in a lot of these decks. If anything, I’d rather work with symbols, planets, nature, sacred geometry.

A lot of things are becoming outdated.

The above image is my light language codes.

It’s getting harder to explain what I’ve been thinking about these days, as I’m starting to sound crazier. But at the same time, I don’t care and apparently I’m really fascinated by this stuff. I’m an only child so I’ve never felt lonely or isolated, even when I wasn’t all “spiritual and shit”. I’ve always been able to amuse and entertain myself.

What does loneliness have to do with this? Often times, these subjects tend to be isolating – it’s ‘too out there’ for some; it also triggers people and their beliefs so you end up with fewer amounts of people that you can discuss this with. You’ll probably lose friends too. Oh well, I guess.

For me I know it’s just another upgrade in consciousness and it’s happening a lot faster now.

I wrote about my faith being restored in Reiki recently…but guess what? My [higher] self has led me yet again away from it.

You’re probably wondering, how so?

Well it pretty much boils down to this: anything that requires you to be initiated to a source outside of yourself is false light.

Anything that has a hierarchy is false light. For example: you have to go see a Reiki master to increase your healing abilities in levels. You also have to keep visiting a Reiki healer for multiple treatments: you receive a healing session for pain (emotional or physical), but then it comes back and you have to go again. It starts creating a codependency.

It is the same thing when groups of people start giving their power away to a spiritual guru, believing that only this guru has all the answers to their problems. Again, false light.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s a lot harder to recognize because it masks itself so very well, so well that even you, your friends and family will fall into deception and might even fight with you about it. So don’t beat yourself up over it, we’ve all been fooled.

I would like to thank Danielle (@theresonantwitch) for this eye-opening truth bomb, she did a 3-hour live talk with another person on IG and it literally blew my mind and probably opened up another chakra or two. She also assisted me with activating my Light Language codes.

You don’t need ascended masters and spirit guides for spiritual guidance. These beings could be posing as other entities – negative ETs, reptilians, dark forces who control the holographic matrix we exist in, how can you be 100% sure who you’re calling upon?

You also don’t have to follow what everyone else is doing. You already are Light. Call upon and begin embodying your higher Self and you’ll start to remember who you are. If our thoughts create our reality, then that’s where you can start.

I’m not knocking Reiki down, I’ve actually benefitted from self Reiki a lot. It also helped me with my business. But I probably won’t be using it anymore.

Here’s another former Reiki master who shares her personal experience with Reiki & the false light.

So why go see a healer then? Definitely go see a healer when your personal needs call for it, as we’re all at different levels of ascension. But also, learn to trust your own inner guidance. From personal experience, a true healer will not enable you to keep coming back to them for healings. If anything, a true healer will empower you to want to heal yourself.

Sidenote: every time I see those oracle cards with Ascended Masters on them, I immediately think false light. I personally have never been able to connect with them.

It brings me so much joy and pleasure to witness someone experience a healing of some sort, even more so when I don’t have any expectations of the outcome. Energy work is real and I am so thankful to have the perfect clients, I look forward to having more of these experiences in 2019. I am memorizing this blissful feeling and encoding it into my DNA. Or perhaps I have always known how to do this in a past life perhaps (a client mentioned this to me before), I had just forgotten and am barely remembering it now in this life.

Of course it hurts me to see people in pain; a part of me wants to cry along with them but at the same time I get to learn how to help them transmute this pain, which simply is energy.

This time around, the person receiving the healing and myself saw colors. We literally saw the same colors – pinks & reds – when I was chelating around her heart chakra.

On Saturday, I also activated my Light Language codes. Oddly enough I had been drawing these symbols repetitively for the last few months long before I even knew what LL was, not realizing that these would be MY codes. How wonderful and so very synchronistic.

I was also able to activate verbal, written & movement LL codes, which surprised me even more because I was not expecting it, especially the verbal part.

Anyways, I am pretty excited about where my life is headed right now. I still don’t know what direction I’m going in anymore, but as long as I follow my true interests, my intuition will guide me.

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For crystal healing/therapy sessions, visit me at Crystal Healer LA.
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I drew this today (Monday, November 5 2018).

I’m here, trying to just be and go with the flow. I once saw someone on Twitter tweet this out: “only dead fish go with the flow”.

So as usual, I’m conflicted.

Like, how do we just go with the flow if we are conscious beings, when we’re wired a certain way. It really takes effort to reprogram our minds and to find balance between wanting stuff to happen already versus allowing it to come to you.

I want so many things, but mostly I want to learn everything that fascinates me.

Right now I have a list of things I want to learn or make my way towards:

Light Language
Medical Intuitive
Holistic Life Coach
Quantum Healing Hypnosis
Transpersonal Psychology

I’ve also been considering going into Massage Therapy but then again I’m not sure whether I’m ready to touch people…I’m still thinking about it though.

I don’t know. I want to focus on one thing and get really good at it. But it also feels like I need to do other things too. Why? Selling minerals is cool but tbh, I’m already losing interest in it. Perhaps I was a bit naive in thinking that I was always going to make consistent sales, but not only that – selling gets boring after a while. I feel that I also made some poor decisions and spent more than I made. Lesson learned, I guess.

My intuition is leading me to a consciousness upgrade, it seems. It wants me to learn all this stuff that I’ve never even considered wanting to get into.

So here I am again, wondering where my life is going next. I honestly don’t know anymore. This is what wanted to come out today while drawing.

I’m typing this before I forget. I woke up with a bad headache on the right side of my head. It was probably because I ate too much salty chips with hummus…then an hour later I had cheezy poofs the night before and didn’t actually eat dinner. I probably didn’t drink a whole lot of water either. It happens.

So I put Selenite on the the side of my head where the pain was and that sort of helped. Blue Calcite worked even better but the headache came back again in waves. I should also mention that my husband told me to drink Gatorade because I needed electrolytes so I did that. And some water of course.

While all of the above helped, my headache was still there, lingering.

So I called upon my true Reiki masters & guides to assist me with removing this headache, got into a quiet, expansive, meditative state and put my hands on the sides of my head for a few minutes.

Needless to say, it worked; my headache subsided and my faith in Reiki has been restored, the Usui method. Also, my husband got us breakfast. I’m thankful.

For the past week I was having serious doubts about my Reiki practice after having learned that a false light agenda existed and has been infiltrating through the various Reiki symbols. So I had to search out some answers to my own questions. If you are open minded and want to get weird, please read my previous blog post: Reiki and Reptilians

I must warn you now: this shit’s going to be weird and might freak you out but yes I’m going there because A) this is my blog and B) it’s all I’ve been thinking about these last few days and I needed an answer to my question:

Is Reiki another form of manipulation, is it part of the false light agenda?

These questions came up for me recently as I browsed on Instagram and saw that some healers have had their Reiki symbols removed; claiming that Reiki is another part of the Reptilian agenda to manipulate people who are spiritual.

What the fucking fuck.

I’ve been attuned to Reiki levels I and II in Usui method so of course this freaked me the fuck out and needed to know right away if I had just taken on some form of reptilian mind control.

The short answer is: no. But still, it took almost 5 days to find an answer that I’m partially satisfied with and on the first day of discovering this – my anxiety levels were rising and it felt real. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I guess it didn’t help that I started reading one of David Icke’s books to try to know more about reptilians, then I started YouTubing shit and learned all about the false light propaganda that is happening amongst us. It was definitely an eye-opener that was part fascination, part anxiety, part everything really.

So anyways, this video sort of gave me some relief but at the same time not really: Reptilian Carrier Wave in Reiki and Possible MK Ultra Connection

The lesson here? Question everything, including your own motives and listen/trust your own intuition. It’s tempting to not question it especially when everyone is doing it. Like right now, there’s so many people getting Reiki attunements, myself included.

Although I haven’t had a negative experience with Reiki, I’m on the fence right now. There were a couple of instances where people compared Reiki systems and a lot of them claimed that the ones they’re getting attuned to are more ‘powerful’.

Something about that puts me off, because the word ‘power’ can be so easily abused. You must ask yourself, why are you getting attuned or why do you want to be a Reiki master? Do you think you will gain more power? What kind of power are we talking about exactly and power over who or what? I thought the whole point of spirituality was to realize/actualize our own power, not look to an outside source.

For example – during attunement we work with an ascended master from an oracle deck. I honestly am not familiar with a lot of these so called ascended masters. Like really though, who are they?

I don’t know. Reptilians seek power and control so is there some subliminal connection there?

As they say around October/November that the veil is thin and entities from other dimensions can enter this one.

So basically this whole thing opened up Pandora’s box and I might have to step away from it all to get clear again. It’s no wonder I kept my Black Tourmaline close to me this whole time.

I get a lot of people following/unfollowing me daily on my crystal shop’s Instagram page. The number of followers hasn’t really grown that much. But that’s alright because I still get sales.

At first, I did get hung up about it. Like why do people play the stupid ‘follow to unfollow’ game? It really annoyed the fuck outta me.

Anyways, I realized after a year that it didn’t actually matter…I still made sales.

Moral of the story? Just because you have more Instagram followers doesn’t necessarily mean you get more sales.

I’m writing this because maybe some of you are feeling discouraged or feel like you’re not gaining any traction on selling or putting yourself or your brand out there. It’s crowded, everyone’s doing the same damn thing, people steal content, I have to show my face when I don’t really want to, blah blah blah…

It’s definitely going to feel that way sometimes, especially when you’re just starting out.

But with consistency, patience and most importantly – using your own unique voice & perspective – you WILL sell and you WILL attract the right people. And all your hangups about other people doing the same thing will melt away.

Not as easy as it sounds, but if you intend for things to be a certain way – trust that it can happen.

And as cliché as it already sounds – you really HAVE to believe in yourself. You have to be your own fucking number 1 fan. Your negative self-talk will only hold you back.

You also have to stop looking at what other people are doing. I swear, as soon as I stopped doing this – my creativity came back; my writing and my art sounded like me again.

I’m a life coach now by the way. Kidding!😉

I’m writing this to encourage you and myself. I have more confidence now that I’ve had the business up and running for a little over a year. So while I have some nuggets of wisdom to share, I’m also aware that I still have a long way to go.

Either way, I’m not worried about it. I intend to have fun and go at my pace.

I see a lot of people start their shop pages on Instagram but don’t really last longer than a month. Why? Because I think they run out of steam. They tend to post a lot hoping people will notice them and start buying right away, but then they burn out just as quickly as they started.

Consistency and repetition is key. But also, pace yourself so you don’t crash and burn. Self-care is just as important.

One of my mentors was telling me you should post 3 times a day on Instagram. I followed that at first, but got tired. So now I only post once or twice a day, depending on how I feel.

What most people don’t think about is that while even starting a small business can be a lot of fun, it’s also A LOT of work. You are the owner, marketer, manager, accountant and more…all rolled into one. You can easily go through a roller coaster of emotions too – from being happy and excited because you made some sales, to being scared and anxious because you spent a lot of money to make those sales, then happy and excited all over again because you paid down some of your debt. Yay!

That is the reality of a lot of small businesses & entrepreneurs – spending money to make money.

Would I do it all over again? Probably.

The secret is to only sell what you love, what you yourself would buy. I guess in some ways this is difficult because you’ll be tempted to keep a lot of the stuff you’re supposed to sell!

The other secret is to branch out and learn other skills so you can stand out from everybody else who sells the same thing as you.

Here’s a personal example: I don’t consider myself to be a seller or come anything close to being a salesperson; I am so anti-hustle. Not into it at all. But on the contrary, I AM selling, consistently.

How am I doing it? I honestly couldn’t tell you.

Either people really love the crystals that they see on my Instagram, or they like me as a person. They could be basing it off the reviews I have on Etsy.

It could be all of the above or none of the above.

Behind this human avatar, I could really be a fucking magical being – creating whatever I want to happen next. That sounds feasible to me.

Whatever it is, the effort is paying off – that doesn’t mean I’m done. I have to continue, because I love that I created this; and I love that people love it too.

And I also know that you can do this for yourself too.🖤

p.s. hope you enjoy the photo I posted with this post! My mom’s church friends already think I worship the devil anyway.👹🤷🏻‍♀️👹

In trying to figure out what brings me joy and pleasure in my work life and how to attract more of it, I’ve come to these conclusions:

+ I like creating cute shit.
+ I like creating cute, bright, colorful shit.
+ I like creating animated GIFs

That’s all I’ve got. I feel like I could work at a place that’s cute, fun and matches my graphic style, but for adults (and I don’t mean porn). I think there should be more places that cater to the kid inside of us. BOOM, I just gave you an idea.

Complaining about what I don’t enjoy doing doesn’t get me anywhere – I know because I just went there AGAIN recently😫. It just brings me down and puts me in a stupid mood. So I need to get clear on what it is I really enjoy doing and not focus so much on the things I don’t enjoy.

Web design I don’t mind so much, just not into the heavy programming. I’ve tried for the life of me to learn Javascript and PHP, I did not go very far.

I enjoy writing if it’s something interesting & relevant to me.

I feel like motion graphics would be the next thing to learn, as I do enjoy animating and making things move.

I enjoy some aspects of marketing, a lot of it I don’t really care for.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I want to leave my comfortable job. At the same time it feels like I shouldn’t because I have a partner and a cat that depend on me.

I’m very much aware that I just put some limitations on my desires. It’s dumb, I know. I’m working on it but at the same time I’m not working on it…

I’m definitely on some kind of journey at the moment, one where I keep seeking to learn more about healing and becoming proficient at being a healer. There is no unhealthy ego attached here, this is where my intuition has been taking over and leading me to as of late. Reiki and Trans Crystal Therapy were the catalyst, now I’m being led to keep on learning more. How do I know this? It’s all I seem to want to think and read about but not in an obsessive way, just going with it and expanding my knowledge and awareness of this magnificent universe we live in and how its energy flows and manifests through us.

It’s a little bit of everything that I like – esoteric, psychology, science, energy work and metaphysical all rolled into one. There’s also a lot of art and imagination involved, as we are working as well as creating and visualizing things that can’t be seen but actually do exist.

So what about the crystal shop?

It’s there, quietly continuing to build itself. My ego helped me create that, but it’s taken a back seat. Too much ego creates competition, separation and stress so I had to take myself out of it because it simply didn’t make me feel good. And yeah, I also had to cut back on spending money since there is only 1 person in my little family that’s working: me.

So I watermarked this gif because it’s the damn internet and people like to steal.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are having a fun and relaxing summer doing what you want to do rather than doing things you have to do. Remember, you are important.✨🖤✨

Never have I minded my business so hard than after Reiki II attunement. Other than learning to use two more symbols for channeling life force energy and healing, I didn’t think anything would really happen afterwards…

Let’s just say anything tied to my emotional attachments have completely dropped off. I haven’t had any desire to post on Twitter or lurk on anyone’s Instagram, I feel as if I have nothing to say. I am in my own world right now.

I literally feel like a bodhisattva, surrounded by lotus flowers and floating on a cloud. Seeing everything from a higher perspective, wanting to help people end their suffering. I’m physically here and simultaneously on another plane of existence…

except I’m not a bodhisattva. I still have to go to work and look at nudes. 8 years of working in the adult entertainment industry, let’s just say I’m ready for something else…but what that something else is, I don’t even know.

I was going to post a pic of a Green Tara but chose to do this rough sketch instead and started playing with it more. Her skin is green so I made this girl green.

Everything’s the same and yet everything’s different.

My TCT final is this weekend, June 9th. I’ve been practicing doing crystal therapy on people at least once a week. So thankful that my friends & co-workers are open minded enough to try it. During my final, I’ll be doing a crystal therapy on someone I don’t know…

wish me luck.