The Death card appeared to me twice this week – first it was Death from the Sacred Symbols Oracle deck with the skull and rose at the beginning of this week on Monday, (top left)…

and then last night when I came home from work. I was sitting at my desk talking to a friend on the phone when I randomly pulled the Death card again from my HK tarot deck (bottom right).

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Edit 10/2/19: some people have asked me where I got the HK tarot deck. I got it from Etsy but I don’t think the person is making them anymore. Sorry! I’m guessing it was a bootleg and the person didn’t want to get sued by HK / Sanrio for using their images.

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I had a few other decks on the table so I decided to pull the other Death cards from them for this photo: top right is from the Albano-Waite deck and bottom left is from Camoin / Jodorowsky’s Tarot de Marseille.

The reason why I have all these tarot and oracle decks is because I am learning from them, they guide me throughout the days of the week. I feel better prepared for real life situations (whether I am consciously aware of them or not), and I admire the artwork too. The Tarot is a teacher. I’ve barely been studying the Tarot for only about 4 years now and I guess this is my method of learning; I learned that the same cards tend to come up in different decks. It probably doesn’t make sense to others, but for me it helps me to see comparisons. Consider it a double or triple confirmation. Some decks I use more frequently than others and so they end up sitting on my desk for months.

Reflecting on all the violent events so far this year made me realize even more that Death is and will always be a constant part of our lives. Someone is probably dying right now at this very moment, but we’re not aware because it’s just another day. So we only pay attention to what we see on TV and social media. We cannot dictate to Death who lives and who dies; Death doesn’t care if you’re gay, a person of color, a cop, a rich or poor person or someone of authority…

Death comes for everyone, this is the ultimate truth. Once you strip away all the complex feelings that humans attach to death – grief, sadness, hate, anger and everything in between…

there is just that, the natural part of life. It seems unnatural that a person dies at the hand of another, but at the same time this is and has been the history of human civilization. A person dies, and another one is born. It’s the cycle that keeps on going, no matter how we feel about it. The World Tarot card appeared to me this week too.

Death is certainly the most painful of all teachers. It is the one that is hard to let go of, to get over with and move on from. It’s especially painful for us who are still alive because we’re the ones who have to keep on living and remembering.

My mom passed away 10 years ago from cancer. I feel as if it was only in these last 4 years when the Tarot showed itself to me, that I started to feel like I could live again.

This is not to say that your feelings and emotions are invalid. They are valid and you have a right to feel the way you do. You can grieve and experience all the feels for as long as you need to, this is what it’s like to be human. Just know that this too shall pass, and that you have people that understand what you’re going through.

Where there is death, there is also rebirth, growth, transformation, healing, a new way of seeing things, a different perspective and so much more. The effects of death are far-reaching; peace, love, unity, justice, karma, and other cause and effects can spring from it. It really puts me in awe.

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This is a new marker drawing that I made today. Most of my artwork is usually feminine in nature so I wanted to channel in some masculine energy. I also promised to type up a tutorial so here goes!

Here’s a simple technique that I like to use for my drawings. Beginners new to Photoshop can follow along 🙂

I am using Adobe Photoshop 2015 by the way and the key commands I use are for Mac. Control key is the equivalent of the Command key on a PC.

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1. I scan the drawing at 300dpi and it gives me this large TIFF file. You can take a pic with your phone, email it to yourself and download it from there but I find that the resolution isn’t high enough. I could be wrong though, feel free to try it.

2. My scanner software (Image Capture) is kinda janky so when it scans, it gives me a washed out scan. To fix this, I usually hit Command Shift L or Auto Levels in Photoshop. Or I adjust the Levels and Curves until I’m happy with it. In Adobe Photoshop CC 2015, it’s now called Auto Tone in the Image menu.

3. I want to add a cosmic background to the blacked out area of the drawing. It would be good to find a background that’s about the same size of your scanned image. In your layers panel, double click to turn your locked background image to a layer so that it can be edited. It’s going to become Layer 0.

4. Hit W on your keyboard to select the Quick Selection Wand tool, third tool on your toolbar.

5. With your Layer 0 still selected, on your image click the area you want to select and see how much it covers. You will see a selection (some people call it marching ants). If you need to select more additional areas, hold down the Shift key and click another area. The more solid the area is, the better your selection will come out.

6. Now that you have a selection, hit Command Shift I or go to Select menu > Inverse. This changes your selection. You won’t see it until you put a mask on it.

7. With your selection still active and your layer 0 still selected, at the bottom of your layers panel, click the Add Layer Mask tool, third one from the left. This masks or hides the area that you selected.

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8. Now you can bring in your cosmic background by dragging the file right into your Photoshop document from wherever it’s located. It will place the file right smack in the front so once you’ve adjusted it to your liking (size and position), hit enter or return; now you can move that cosmic background layer to the bottom of your layer stack.

9. Make sure to hit Command S to save your work! Save often if you’re doing a lot of edits.

10. I like to play with the blending modes in the Layers panel, the tab that says Normal but has a dropdown menu. I added another layer and played with gradients and changed the blending modes on there too.

Endless fun!

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If you want to practice with the files I used, you can download them here.

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It seems like every single day whether I am at work or at home I always see 11:11 on my phone, computer or digital clock. It’s been like this for months now. I see other number sequences often too – like 111, 222, 333, 444 & 555. Sometimes 666, 777 & 888. 888 because I work for a company that deals with lots of phone numbers. I end up Googling the meaning of these numbers often because I see them so much.

And it becomes even more in depth if you’re studying the occult meaning of the numbers themselves in conjunction with the Tarot. Talk about going deep into the rabbit hole, I am going to reserve that for another blog post (and when I can actually articulate it).

Patience vs Synchronicity

Patience is good. Synchronicity is better. Patience can be defined as bearing or enduring without complaint. It is the act of “giving time” to that which will come to fruition. It is the hope of things to come.

On the other hand, synchronicity is that which knows no waiting or enduring. It recognizes that all is complete in the moment. It provides all in this very moment. It knows there is a perfect time and place for all, and one who experiences synchronicity knows of the harmony between the person and the completeness of the moment. One in synchronicity is not waiting for the rain to stop so that the garden may be tilled, but instead appreciates the rain in all its splendor, along with the situation that it creates in the moment.

Source: 11:11 Synchronicity – Repetitive Numbers and Their Meaning

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I have an affinity for handpainted lettering and typography – gothic, script, ornamental, etc. Basically the hard-to-read ones that aren’t normally used in advertising – because although they’re lovely to look at, they’re kind of hard to read.

I drew this up a few years ago. I find that when I’m annoyed with something or someone, it tends to fuel some of my artwork on a subconscious level. I don’t even remember who it was in particular, it could’ve been a few random people who I just stumbled upon on internetland. I guess it bugs me when people hella show off or try too hard – they’re either screaming “hey look at me, I’m doing something” or “hey look at me, I post nothing but bullshit…but I want you to think it’s NOT bullshit”. So at the time I made this, that’s what staying relevant meant to me: people who just do useless things in order to remain in the minds of the general public, like celebrities who are famous – you don’t even know what they’re famous for.

Well fast forward to now. Being a jack-of-all-trades in content marketing and design, I’m starting to understand what staying relevant means from this angle:

+ Posting images and using words that you wouldn’t normally say to catch the attention of a potential client or buyer.

+ Being in the customer mindset, thinking like them so you can better predict what they are most likely to buy from you.

+ Paying attention to the latest in technology, social media, pop culture and anything related to it.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not a fan of the last bullet point. I don’t like having to keep up with any of it, especially anything that’s cool and trendy. But since we’re in a global market now, meaning everyone is either buying or selling something whether it’s their art, music, creative services – we could all stand to stay relevant somehow by learning something new everyday and applying it to ourselves.

Keep your mind open to possibilities and opportunity, no matter what age you are.

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I just realized that I have a lot of original content that I created for myself to use for social media stuff and really just for the sake of creating and experimenting; for example this one was my old Facebook cover photo from 2013. I always like things to match to the point where I become obsessive over it, like my cover photo and my avatar. What can I say, it’s one of the few things I CAN control.

I used an old drawing that I scanned (the woman with a rose and a skull); I then played around with colors and gradients in Photoshop. For some reason I was drawn to using bright colors, triangular shapes and checkerboards at the time – not really knowing the significance of each. I then created a black square shape, duplicated it and layed it out, grouped them together, flattened them and used the Perspective tool to create the floor. The white part is just one big shape.

I hope to type up a decent tutorial soon on how I create my graphics, so my blog posts can be more useful and have some kind of value to you, the reader.

Here is a good reference of the meaning of the checkerboard in Freemasonry

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Hello dark type on white background! I’ve been resisting this for quite sometime now, I just really, really prefer white type on black background. I don’t just like black, I LOVE IT. I feel protected when I wear black, vulnerable & exposed when I wear white (like I just know I’m going to get some kind of food stain on me & I’ll be upset for the rest of the time); not sure how I can relate that to website readability & color but anyways! Just seems like every freakin website I visit now is a template or has a white background; don’t get me wrong – it’s nice & clean, but everything looks the same.

But from reading a few things online a lot of people say that most prefer to read on a white background, especially if it’s text heavy. Something to do with astigmatism too.

Luckily with this WP theme along with my CSS skills I was able to compromise – my logo up top sits on a black background, it looks more striking that way. That’s enough for me & makes me happy.

Yup, if you are an artist/designer like me, you would get nitpicky and obsessive about this kind of stuff too.

If you are having a hard time deciding, this old article on The Do’s and Don’ts of Dark Web Design might help you decide.

p.s. I am aware that comments aren’t working right now. I’ve been trying to figure it out so bare with me. Thanks for reading!

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The original title of this post was actually “How Weird Is Too Weird?”. I changed it because I did some keyword research on Google & it told me that this title gets more searches than the one I had in mind. Go figure.

Let’s face it, we’re all editing ourselves constantly…especially on social media or anywhere online that is public. Being weird can’t really be wayyyy too out there, can it? Sure, most everyone is saying nowadays “stay weird, be yourself, etc”, but what are the actual consequences of that?

Luckily for me, since my day job has to do with adult content – being weird is part of the job. If you are a creative person, then being weird is a given.

But for the rest of us, perhaps we have to keep it under wraps. Most people still have to set up some kind of private or semi-anonymous account because in reality, what if your employer or a family member is snooping? What if someone just doesn’t like you and wants to use it against you? Many people are still judgmental. Lots of things come to mind, really.

We are free to express ourselves but with restraint, sound judgment and consideration for others.

I just wanted an excuse to post a new, weird sketch to go along with this blog post. Believe it or not, coming up with topics to write about is helping me come up with more ideas to draw. It’s a win win and I’m stretching my creative mind a little bit further each day. And I am thankful for that.

I need to buy hiliters though because I’m tired of the same 3 colors I’ve been using.

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At some point in life, one has to rebuild or reinvent themselves. Maybe even more than once, but a few times in a span of a lifetime.

Your past no longer defines who you are now at this present moment.

I imagine this is how musicians must feel when fans are attached to their more popular songs; people keep wanting to hear you play those same songs over and over but you (the artist) have been ready to move on for sometime now.

But I have to admit, Purple Rain is Prince’s best album. EVER. RIP

I understand this because I have been in the process of doing just that, making others aware of me but from a different view.

It’s not easy, but it can be done. Your past friends might not ‘get’ you anymore, or you might have just drifted apart with those you used to be tight with. It happens.

And yes, there are a ton of artists, writers, makers, creators out there who want to be noticed for their work too but don’t be discouraged if you feel as if no one is paying attention to you and what you have to offer.

You must keep trying, but not in a way that makes you look thirsty (that’s a whole another topic in itself). It is better to make an effort than to be in a defeated mindset and say outloud “no one’s gonna buy my stuff” or “no one’s gonna give me the time of day”.

“No one likes my art.”
“No one likes my music.”
“No one reads my blog.”
“I’m not good at this.”

How do you know that? How do you know what people like or don’t like? You DON’T know.

As far as not being good at it, then you must practice. It’s the only way to get good at something. Even those who are naturally gifted have to practice their craft; it may come easier for them because of their talent – but practice and consistency is involved in any endeavor.

Here’s a personal example: I don’t think I am very good at writing. I am good at blogging about personal shit…as a matter of fact I am an EXPERT at it (haha); but writing for an actual audience – being helpful, making it interesting and to the point? That’s definitely a challenge for me. But I am making the effort with this blog post, I am practicing more and more.

The one thing you don’t want to do is put yourself down. Try not to say anything negative about yourself, try not to say anything negative about others.

Continue to create for yourself. Act like nobody’s watching.

So I hope this blog post motivates you a little. I know, I know…there’s already a FUCK TON of motivational quotes, words from ‘influencers’, experts, gurus, etcetera out there.

But I am just like you, I am trying too. I want to put more effort into this blog, I want to get better at writing quality blog posts on topics that I can discuss. I want to keep pumping out new drawings to go along with these blog posts.

Here are some new rough drawings from my sketchbook. I kinda like coloring with office supplies, hi-liters in particular :]

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Colored her over the weekend, still WIP.

Not posting as much & following less people on Instagram in order to draw more. Taking all distractions away (little by little). Doing instead of trying.

Your power lies in the present moment. You can affirm what you want to happen and visualize the outcome.

I’m on my way to manifesting a new reality, whatever that is.

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Flexing my creative writing muscles. I felt compelled to write this piece / commentary / poem / whatever you want to call it – but I also wanted a drawing to go along with it.


The Internet Goddess walks among you. She remains anonymous but watches, observes all human computer interaction. She absorbs it all and uses it…

for marketing & advertising purposes.

WTF?

Yup, she is a mirror of you. She is you and you are her. The way you talk, what kind of slang you use, your pains, your gains.

She, we, her, I…

throw it all back at you.

So buy something already. She needs to see some kind of ROI.

I am the occult Internet Goddess. Worship my coding, copywriting, blogging, video editing, web design, graphic design, SEO, marketing skillz…

I am everything. I am nothing. I move freely from desktop computer, to laptop, to tablet, to mobile phone.

I am everywhere and nowhere.

People underestimate the Internet Goddess. She’s not popular, she doesn’t have followers, WTF does she do??

The Internet Goddess puts herself in service to others. In doing that, she thrives.

Egoless, heart centered, she will work hard for you. Sounds like a gimmick, but it’s not.

The Internet Goddess can lure you in with her mind (posts), body (pictures) and soul (likes) if she really wanted to…

but she’s busy, just like you.

You will probably not meet her IRL, but you will know her work online. You will start to recognize that she can assimilate other people’s thoughts, yet retain her own identity…

the identity of nothing.

In being nothing, she can contain everything.

Just like The One Reality.

She’s out there, surfing the internet. Thinking, feeling, posting, typing…

Maybe she’ll text you occasionally, maybe she won’t.

Only a handful know her IRL.

She prefers not to be known.

I am the occult Internet Goddess, and I will live forever…

on your screen.

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