I got tired of being on the computer so I willed myself to just draw something. It started with the needles / leaves on the bottom left then the eye, then the skull, then the inverted triangle lines.

I wanted to see a neon color blend so I did so with sharpie highlighters.

Then I added the crystal points.

Roxy’s passing a year later still looms over me, especially now that we’re approaching Samhain. Everything feels so heavy and I’m not in the Halloween spirit at all.

In my birth chart report, the moon is in the 8th house and it says:

The Moon is placed in the 8th House of your birth chart suggesting that you are a sensitive person. Your emotional antennae are switched on to high . This may have something to do with an event connected to your mother or childhood.

As a result you may develop a need to understand the cycles of life and the metaphysical nature of the world. Why do people behave in the way that they do? What affect do the natural cycles have on human behaviour? What happens after death?

You’ve the ability to develop your interest in the occult world and to use your discoveries for practical results in your own and other people’s lives.

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These last few months has left me feeling jaded about the spiritual community. From spiritual bypassing to fake Instagram gurus, to false spiritual “influencers”…

I know it’s nothing really new but on top of a pandemic / economic depression / apocalyptic times maybe that’s why I’m not as vested in Crystal Healer LA as much as I was before. My relationship with Reiki has also changed as I’m learning to decolonize my spiritual practice, which is complex. I still love crystals though and believe 100% in their healing abilities, I just don’t know where I belong in all of this.

Perhaps that’s why I respect and admire the Devil so much; even though he/she/it is a made up figure it still represents a powerful, opposing force. Last night as I was going to sleep, I pulled the Devil tarot (the third card of 3) from the Labyrinthos app.

At least the Devil, who is a symbol of our shadow / aspect of our true and unconscious desires – won’t lie to us. Of course we will spend half our lives denying it, but if you look at your life thus far – your unconscious was really running the show all along. Please read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott.

Here’s an old drawing that I did, scanned and altered in Photoshop. At the time of this drawing, I wanted to be a tattoo artist so I was heavily influenced by Sailor Jerry’s flash. You can see that i borrowed the demon head from him.

Hail Satan.

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I made her blink, maybe I will do a tutorial on how to do that. I’m pretty sure I posted the original drawing here somewhere…

nevermind, here it is from 2017.

Some random thoughts today:

I’m really glad I have this blog. Instagram and other social media hangouts may seem permanent, but it’s not your property. At least I can say this is my property. So if someone on Instagram decides they don’t like my post, they can report me. Then I would be on IG’s radar which means they can do other things, like shadow ban or disable my account.

Well I’m glad I don’t have a ton of followers on there, I don’t have to feel so attached like many others do who have built up a following on there. In some ways, I can relate more to porn stars and sex workers – who are used to having their accounts banned on a regular basis.

The impermanence of it all.

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I posted this sketch to my @crystalhealerla account on Instagram, but I really like how it turned out so I’m sharing it here as well.

I’m thankful that I have 2 sketchbooks to fill for The Sketchbook Project – it gives me something to do and gets the creative current flowing. On top of this, I’ve been attempting to write for 20 minutes a day uninterrupted – during work days I can only get in less than 10 minutes. It’s better than nothing.

As usual, I have no direction with my career goals. For practical reasons, I think I should just choose the Web Development route because I wouldn’t need to upgrade my computer. If I choose motion graphics / video editing, then I would have to get a newer iMac. And right now, I’m starting to hate being a jack-of-all-trades, only knowing a little bit of everything. I shouldn’t feel stuck, but I am. I’m also trying to pay down my debt first, then have an emergency fund, then invest. Trying to keep my creativity a top priority while adulting can be a fucking challenge…there’s always something to do or something to think about.

I’ve been minding my business a lot on the internet, not scrolling as much on IG. In my own world mostly, forever scheming on how I can create financial freedom even while I work. Again, it goes back to paying down debt, then saving, then investing.

I am missing my friend, Roxy. I know she would’ve banged out some rad sketches for The Sketchbook Project. She would’ve also been excited and cheering me on when I’d post my sketches on IG. Sigh💔

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I’m just writing this based on personal experience. I’m writing this because I’ve had a couple of experiences recently that felt like spirit communication. It happened with two people that I love who have passed on from their physical bodies: my mom and my best friend, Roxy.

Spirit communication sounds scary, but it really doesn’t have to be. Remember, we are all spirits too – energy with a consciousness – it just so happens that we are still in our physical bodies.

As some of you may know, I’ve been developing my psychic abilities. And in order to become psychic, you must learn to meditate.

The book I’m reading suggests that you can meditate with music to engage psychic visions, and so that’s exactly what I did: play a particular piece of music that that person loved when they were still around.

I want to mention that on both occasions, I wasn’t expecting it to happen. But it did.

When I did it playing Moonlight Sonata, my mom came through.

When I did it playing Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful’, Roxy came through.

So how do I know it’s real? It was real because I was crying uncontrollably. If you have a strong emotional bond with that person, then you will know that it’s real.

Another way to know it’s real is when you can see it with your third eye, when you are able to describe details – what the person is wearing, where you are at and what is happening. It’s similar to dreaming, except you are conscious and aware.

I also want to mention that the spirit of the person may not talk to you directly, but send you a psychic message. Or they may not say anything to you at all but communicate with you visually. You might feel scared at first – since in the spiritual realm anything goes, you will see more than you anticipated, forcing you to face your own fears and old beliefs.

So before you try this on your own, make sure you are spiritually grounded and have some experience meditating; yes, you will feel strong emotions like I did (especially if the person just recently died), but be sure to remain present meaning you have to have one foot in your physical reality while you’re in the spirit realm. Say a prayer before you begin, asking for guidance & protection. This is different from a regular meditation in that you are actually seeing with your mind’s eye and interacting with the spirit.

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I’ve been working on developing my psychic ability lately. Why? I don’t really know. Ok well I do actually (I kinda want to eventually give psychic readings under Crystal Healer LA) but…it might be a while before I actually get to that point. Also, I believe developing my psychic ability makes me more creative? Anyways, in order to become psychic, you must learn to meditate. I’ve been meditating consistently for over a year now with Insight Timer, but wasn’t really meditating to become psychic – until these last few months when all of a sudden it became a desire, an actual goal. The idea stayed with me and hasn’t left so that means it must be something that I’m supposed to be doing.

I meditated for 6 minutes yesterday with music. In the book Psychic Pathway, Sonia Choquette suggests classical so I put on something that my mom used to play on the piano that I loved listening to: Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, but only the first movement (the first 6 something minutes of it). It’s moody, dark and beautiful. The rest of it is way too upbeat in my opinion.

Anyways as soon as I played it and closed my eyes, I was back in my mom’s old house across the street from where I live now. The house was painted the way it was before: white with a slightly darker red trim. My mom was playing Moonlight Sonata in the living room but it was dark, with only a dimly lit lamp. It was eerie but calming at the same time to see my mom playing on her favorite grand piano. I was in the hallway watching her play with her back toward me. Then I ended up on the couch next to the grand piano somehow.

While she was playing though, I looked up and saw different MEI pictures (mental emotional images) of my mom flash before my eyes – at first she was normal. But then I saw her flash to when she was sick and near death, so thin and emaciated. Basically how she looked when she left her body. It was my least favorite memory of her. Then I became frightened because her image flashed like an old TV switching channels and she became half a corpse. She was looking at me and still playing the piano, I wanted to turn away. But I looked at her, got up and sat next to her while she continued to play the piano. I wasn’t going to be afraid, I have to appreciate my mom’s soul in all forms, even in death.

I sat next to her slightly afraid, so I closed my eyes and imagined that she was bathed in light. And so she became a luminous bright, yellow golden white light. Yellow was one of her favorite colors. I turned to face her and I saw my mom again, in the flesh before she was sick. And she smiled at me.

Here is a quick sketch, and here’s a photo of my mom, who passed away after having chemo treatment for ovarian cancer on December 20, 2006. My mom was also a piano teacher while working fulltime at the bank. Her true passion was music and playing the piano.

Random but now that I think about it – there was a scene from Interview with a Vampire where a half dead Lestat was playing the piano after Claudia and Louis tried to kill him.

Edit: I shared this experience with my witchy friend, she says this is mediumship. According to Sharon Farber: Mediumship is when an embodied person communicates with recognizable spirits of those who are considered dead.

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I keep this blog, this website, this identity because I feel safe here. I feel less restricted in being able to say what I want to say and not have to dumb it down or make it less weird for everyone else. This is me talking to me.

I have separate accounts and separate aliases because you can’t lump yourself into one thing, at least in my opinion. You have to put yourself into categories that are digestible for people. From a metaphysical perspective, this is how Consciousness manifests itself – it is One thing broken up into a billion pieces, experiencing itself. That is us, that is what we do.

Anyway, here is my latest drawing for Inktober 2019. The prompt is: ring. I really like how it turned out. Instead of being hard on myself for not drawing on a regular basis, I am learning to appreciate my sporadic moments where I am motivated and can create something that I like.

At this point, I don’t care if other people like it anymore.

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Something I drew the other day in one shot, no pencil sketch. When I came home from work I didn’t want to get on the computer again so I drew. But that’s a lie because I DID get on the computer for a bit but my eyes were so over it. I got off and drew this.

Fact: it seems that I can no longer draw people. I just want to draw lines, shapes & symbols.

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So as promised from my tweet on Twitter last week:

In other news, I’ve become an expert at making DAT ASS shake. I think this will be my next Photoshop tutorial. The output will be a small file size animated gif with only 3 frames.

You’re welcome.— Miss Nobody (@savethesavages) April 4, 2019

I’m writing this fun Photoshop tutorial on How to Make DAT ASS Shake!

Your output will be an animated gif of a booty shaking ass similar to this one, created entirely by YOU:

First of all, what’s the freakin purpose of this?

1. Just for fun, just to get those creative juices flowing. Does everything have to have a purpose & meaning?

2. Maybe you work in the art & marketing department and for whatever reason, your idea calls for some booty shaking or some kind of animation that jiggles.

3. I just felt like writing a fun tutorial since it’s been a while. If you read this blog, then you know I enjoy writing.

4. If you draw AND use Photoshop a lot, this will be good practice.

 

Who should do this?

Anyone who uses Photoshop a lot. I would say beginners can probably do this, if you’re intermediate to advanced then you can definitely do this.

I am using Adobe Photoshop CC 2019

 

The first part of this tutorial is drawing a butt. The second part will be to animate it.

 

STEP 1:
Create a new file in Photoshop. Mine is 450 x 600 pixels.

 

STEP 2:
Make sure you save your file first. You don’t want to start creating & not save your awesome work if your Photoshop tends to crash.

 

STEP 3:
In your layers panel, create a new layer and name it ‘outline’ (it’s the icon to the left of the trashcan). Also create a new folder called ’01’ and put this outline layer inside. This is your first frame of animation.

 

STEP 4:
Go ahead and draw a butt with the brush tool. 

 

STEP 5:
Create a new folder in your layers panel and call it ’02’. Also create a new layer for your 2nd outline.

 

STEP 6:
Click either on the 01 folder or 01 outline and change the opacity of it to 20%. Opacity option is located on the upper right hand corner of the layers panel.

 

STEP 7:
Click back to your 02 outline layer. You will be drawing another butt, with 01 layer as your guide or onion skin. Don’t exactly trace over the 01 outline, but rather make the butt sway to the right side.

 

STEP 8:
You are going to repeat steps 5 through 7 to create a 3rd folder and your third outline layer. You can also bring the opacity of your first outline layer back to 100% or you can leave it as is for now. Up to you.

You can also click the eyeball icon to the left of your layer to hide the 01 folder so you can concentrate on the the 3rd.

 

So at this point, you should have 3 folders – each with an outline layer of a butt. You’ve drawn each layer slightly different to simulate a woman’s butt ‘shaking’.

BONUS STEP 01:
You can take it further by coloring each butt. For the sake of keeping it simple for this tutorial, I’m going to skip it.

 

STEP 9:
GIF animation time. If you don’t have it open yet, make sure your timeline is out. If not, go to Window menu > Timeline. Your timeline should show up at the bottom.

 

STEP 10:
Go back to your layer 01 outline, make sure it’s selected.

Then go back to your timeline and click the button ‘Create Frame Animation’

You should now have a frame appearing in your timeline are with 0 sec. Click and hold the little arrow to change it to 0.2 seconds.

 

STEP 11:
In your time area, there’s an icon to the left of the trashcan icon. Click that to copy your frame.

 

STEP 12:
While you have that 2nd frame selected, go back to your Layers panel and turn OFF the eyeball for folder 01, turn ON the eyeball for folder 02.

 

At this point, with your timeline panel selected you can hit the spacebar on your keyboard and watch your booty shaking! Hit the spacebar again to stop the animation.

STEP 13:
You can repeat steps 10 through 12 to make your 3rd animation frame.

If any of this is confusing, remember that you have to ‘match’ your timeline frames to your layers through selecting:

selecting timeline frame 01 selects folder & layer outline 01
selecting timeline frame 02 selects folder & layer outline 02
selecting timeline frame 03 selects folder & layer outline 03

 

HERE’S A TIP:
Photoshop will trip you up and turn folders on for you when you don’t want them on. So make sure other folders aren’t turned on in your animation frame!

 

BONUS STEP 02:
If you don’t like the speed of your animation, maybe it’s too slow for your taste; you can hit the Shift key while selecting all 3 frames in your timeline, click the little arrow and change it to 0.1 seconds or something else.

 

BONUS STEP 03:
Now you can add details to each frame if you want, like flesh tones. Remember to create new layers for each added detail within that layer folder.

So for example, I want to add shines to the butt.

Let’s go to 01 folder, click on your outline and create a new layer. Let’s call it ‘shines’

With your brush set to white or something, draw a shine to accentuate her butt.

 

BONUS STEPS 04:
I’m going to add a panty line. You can repeat BONUS STEP 03

TO SAVE THIS AS AN ANIMATED GIF:
Go to File menu > Export > Save for Web

Make sure you have GIF selected on the upper right panel, then hit ‘Save…’

Name it however you want, just make sure your file has the .gif extension

You can download the PSD and the animated gif that I created above here.

Have fun! I hope this was fun for you as it was for me!

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