I just realized that I have a lot of original content that I created for myself to use for social media stuff and really just for the sake of creating and experimenting; for example this one was my old Facebook cover photo from 2013. I always like things to match to the point where I become obsessive over it, like my cover photo and my avatar. What can I say, it’s one of the few things I CAN control.

I used an old drawing that I scanned (the woman with a rose and a skull); I then played around with colors and gradients in Photoshop. For some reason I was drawn to using bright colors, triangular shapes and checkerboards at the time – not really knowing the significance of each. I then created a black square shape, duplicated it and layed it out, grouped them together, flattened them and used the Perspective tool to create the floor. The white part is just one big shape.

I hope to type up a decent tutorial soon on how I create my graphics, so my blog posts can be more useful and have some kind of value to you, the reader.

Here is a good reference of the meaning of the checkerboard in Freemasonry

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The original title of this post was actually “How Weird Is Too Weird?”. I changed it because I did some keyword research on Google & it told me that this title gets more searches than the one I had in mind. Go figure.

Let’s face it, we’re all editing ourselves constantly…especially on social media or anywhere online that is public. Being weird can’t really be wayyyy too out there, can it? Sure, most everyone is saying nowadays “stay weird, be yourself, etc”, but what are the actual consequences of that?

Luckily for me, since my day job has to do with adult content – being weird is part of the job. If you are a creative person, then being weird is a given.

But for the rest of us, perhaps we have to keep it under wraps. Most people still have to set up some kind of private or semi-anonymous account because in reality, what if your employer or a family member is snooping? What if someone just doesn’t like you and wants to use it against you? Many people are still judgmental. Lots of things come to mind, really.

We are free to express ourselves but with restraint, sound judgment and consideration for others.

I just wanted an excuse to post a new, weird sketch to go along with this blog post. Believe it or not, coming up with topics to write about is helping me come up with more ideas to draw. It’s a win win and I’m stretching my creative mind a little bit further each day. And I am thankful for that.

I need to buy hiliters though because I’m tired of the same 3 colors I’ve been using.

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At some point in life, one has to rebuild or reinvent themselves. Maybe even more than once, but a few times in a span of a lifetime.

Your past no longer defines who you are now at this present moment.

I imagine this is how musicians must feel when fans are attached to their more popular songs; people keep wanting to hear you play those same songs over and over but you (the artist) have been ready to move on for sometime now.

But I have to admit, Purple Rain is Prince’s best album. EVER. RIP

I understand this because I have been in the process of doing just that, making others aware of me but from a different view.

It’s not easy, but it can be done. Your past friends might not ‘get’ you anymore, or you might have just drifted apart with those you used to be tight with. It happens.

And yes, there are a ton of artists, writers, makers, creators out there who want to be noticed for their work too but don’t be discouraged if you feel as if no one is paying attention to you and what you have to offer.

You must keep trying, but not in a way that makes you look thirsty (that’s a whole another topic in itself). It is better to make an effort than to be in a defeated mindset and say outloud “no one’s gonna buy my stuff” or “no one’s gonna give me the time of day”.

“No one likes my art.”
“No one likes my music.”
“No one reads my blog.”
“I’m not good at this.”

How do you know that? How do you know what people like or don’t like? You DON’T know.

As far as not being good at it, then you must practice. It’s the only way to get good at something. Even those who are naturally gifted have to practice their craft; it may come easier for them because of their talent – but practice and consistency is involved in any endeavor.

Here’s a personal example: I don’t think I am very good at writing. I am good at blogging about personal shit…as a matter of fact I am an EXPERT at it (haha); but writing for an actual audience – being helpful, making it interesting and to the point? That’s definitely a challenge for me. But I am making the effort with this blog post, I am practicing more and more.

The one thing you don’t want to do is put yourself down. Try not to say anything negative about yourself, try not to say anything negative about others.

Continue to create for yourself. Act like nobody’s watching.

So I hope this blog post motivates you a little. I know, I know…there’s already a FUCK TON of motivational quotes, words from ‘influencers’, experts, gurus, etcetera out there.

But I am just like you, I am trying too. I want to put more effort into this blog, I want to get better at writing quality blog posts on topics that I can discuss. I want to keep pumping out new drawings to go along with these blog posts.

Here are some new rough drawings from my sketchbook. I kinda like coloring with office supplies, hi-liters in particular :]

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⚡️If you use my content, don’t forget to tip me on Venmo: piasanjose⚡️

Colored her over the weekend, still WIP.

Not posting as much & following less people on Instagram in order to draw more. Taking all distractions away (little by little). Doing instead of trying.

Your power lies in the present moment. You can affirm what you want to happen and visualize the outcome.

I’m on my way to manifesting a new reality, whatever that is.

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Flexing my creative writing muscles. I felt compelled to write this piece / commentary / poem / whatever you want to call it – but I also wanted a drawing to go along with it.


The Internet Goddess walks among you. She remains anonymous but watches, observes all human computer interaction. She absorbs it all and uses it…

for marketing & advertising purposes.

WTF?

Yup, she is a mirror of you. She is you and you are her. The way you talk, what kind of slang you use, your pains, your gains.

She, we, her, I…

throw it all back at you.

So buy something already. She needs to see some kind of ROI.

I am the occult Internet Goddess. Worship my coding, copywriting, blogging, video editing, web design, graphic design, SEO, marketing skillz…

I am everything. I am nothing. I move freely from desktop computer, to laptop, to tablet, to mobile phone.

I am everywhere and nowhere.

People underestimate the Internet Goddess. She’s not popular, she doesn’t have followers, WTF does she do??

The Internet Goddess puts herself in service to others. In doing that, she thrives.

Egoless, heart centered, she will work hard for you. Sounds like a gimmick, but it’s not.

The Internet Goddess can lure you in with her mind (posts), body (pictures) and soul (likes) if she really wanted to…

but she’s busy, just like you.

You will probably not meet her IRL, but you will know her work online. You will start to recognize that she can assimilate other people’s thoughts, yet retain her own identity…

the identity of nothing.

In being nothing, she can contain everything.

Just like The One Reality.

She’s out there, surfing the internet. Thinking, feeling, posting, typing…

Maybe she’ll text you occasionally, maybe she won’t.

Only a handful know her IRL.

She prefers not to be known.

I am the occult Internet Goddess, and I will live forever…

on your screen.

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I participated in a tektite guided meditation last night & posted an animated version on Instagram today (something that I just did pretty quickly in Photoshop), so here is a still version. Have I told you that I enjoy making GIFs? Well, now you know 🙂

From Robert Simmon’s Book of Stones: “Tektites carry the energies of a number of extraterrestrial streams of communication and information. These stones, whether they are themselves Meteorites or not, vibrate with high-frequency pulsations which can put one in touch with ETS.”

And that accurately describes what I experienced: I floated from a desert landscape into the night sky, exchanging energy with my star. After that, I traveled further into space and landed in an area that was similar to Superman’s home, Kryptonite. Ice-like and blue, except it wasn’t. I encountered & merged with a being that morphed from a unicorn, to a sea horse, then into a pulsating, wavy, transparent sea slug until it grew larger & became glints of colored light. It was overwhelming that I was literally blinded by the light! Did you get the song reference? Super trippy indeed. Thankful for the experience!

I still want to learn how to animate really well in After Effects, as well as create 3D graphics in Cinema 4D. I really just want to animate my visions. I just want to play, experiment and have fun. There are so many things I want to learn…

so a rough drawing made with office supplies will do for now.

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