The meme says:

Mars doesn’t wanna meet your stupid ass

This might be my favorite meme of all time. I LOL every time because I see myself in it A LOT.

Questions to think about today is: where is Mars in your natal chart? What sign and house is it in? And how does it play out in your life?

For me, Mars is in Leo in the 7th house. Still don’t know what that fully means, I only understand the basics of it.

Let’s break it down a little then:

Mars – the planet of assertive (sometimes aggressive) actions & desires

Leo – a fixed fire sign; known to persevere in their actions. The word I’m actually looking for is loyalty.

7th house – the area where relationships and partnerships are concerned.

So then you combine or synthesize the three aspects together to create a statement that makes sense to the person.

For me, I interpret this as someone who is assertive and usually gets what they want when it comes to relationships; this could be in marriage or general partnerships. They also tend to last in the relationship (loyalty) so long as there is passion, fun, creativity, excitement.

 

*As I write this I can’t help but think of Roxy, my one Leo friend.🦁 I seriously miss that girl.

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Even though social media is a big part of my day job, I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.

And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.

Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.

I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.

So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:

Become a ghost.

Fuck attention. Just hustle.

p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy🖤 – she loved to blog.

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You look really beautiful today

Thanks…I love compliments about my flesh prison

Image description: photo of an old (Victorian?) painting. A man is offering flowers to a woman sitting on a stone bench. Her head is turned away, she seems indifferent.

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Found on Reddit

So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.

BUT!

I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.

Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.

Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.

Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.

I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.

And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.

Here is a link to my Only Fans.

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so fucking addicting? I hate it and want to wean myself off of it. It’s not like I have a lot of friends to keep up with nor do I get a bunch of likes on my posts. It’s the scrolling part – addicted to seeing photos and addicted to information, I guess? I don’t know. As a creative person, I’m definitely stimulated by images.

I know I can do better things with my time…and yet I don’t.

I only draw or get creative when I know I have a deadline.

Otherwise, I’d much rather be doing absolutely nothing, or scrolling. Ugh.

I’m also aware that it’s Mercury Rx and I really should just chill the fuck out and be easy on myself. Why do I beat myself up for not being creative enough?

Roxy’s birthday is August 3, it is still unreal to me that she is gone. The few months since her passing was the strongest connection I had to her. I miss her so much, social media & the internet isn’t quite the same without her.

Smile now, cry later.

Fuck the world.

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