I am really happy with how this video turned out, (even though YouTube butchered the quality after I uploaded it). So now it’s living on Vimeo and I tweaked the colors in Premiere. Getting older is pretty much equal to giving less fucks and not caring about others opinions and I love it. I am loving myself and what’s been wanting to express itself through video. I am thankful that I did those random talking videos to practice talking on Instagram, as it really did help me to be able to express myself.

Of course if you know me, I have to find ways to stand out from everyone else. Maybe it’s all been done before, but hey – it’s new to me and that’s all that matters.

Calling your energy back to yourself (at least to me) means you’re not liking, following and scrolling on Instagram as much. I was guilty of this for such a long time and it really kept me from creating anything for myself. Well not anymore; even if I don’t have a consistent amount of clients, I’ve made a promise to myself to stay creative and push myself to keep on learning.

Sales at my crystal shop have slowed down a lot, but at the same time I really don’t mind; it seems that the less sales I make, the less taxes I have to pay. Paying taxes in California sucks in my experience if you have a business – it’s no wonder so many people avoid paying it. Their system needs a major upgrade too as I got into a little messy situation with them for not paying on time, even though I did pay the full amount eventually. I exercised patience and persistence and it served me well.

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It brings me so much joy and pleasure to witness someone experience a healing of some sort, even more so when I don’t have any expectations of the outcome. Energy work is real and I am so thankful to have the perfect clients, I look forward to having more of these experiences in 2019. I am memorizing this blissful feeling and encoding it into my DNA. Or perhaps I have always known how to do this in a past life perhaps (a client mentioned this to me before), I had just forgotten and am barely remembering it now in this life.

Of course it hurts me to see people in pain; a part of me wants to cry along with them but at the same time I get to learn how to help them transmute this pain, which simply is energy.

This time around, the person receiving the healing and myself saw colors. We literally saw the same colors – pinks & reds – when I was chelating around her heart chakra.

On Saturday, I also activated my Light Language codes. Oddly enough I had been drawing these symbols repetitively for the last few months long before I even knew what LL was, not realizing that these would be MY codes. How wonderful and so very synchronistic.

I was also able to activate verbal, written & movement LL codes, which surprised me even more because I was not expecting it, especially the verbal part.

Anyways, I am pretty excited about where my life is headed right now. I still don’t know what direction I’m going in anymore, but as long as I follow my true interests, my intuition will guide me.

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For crystal healing/therapy sessions, visit me at Crystal Healer LA.
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Reflecting back on it now, setting up the crystal shop was easy; selling something that is tangible and beautiful is quite easy.

Marketing & selling a service on the other hand, is a bit more challenging; people can’t see it, it’s not tangible like a crystal or a stone. But it’s still doable.

I trust myself, I trust that I can make this work.

Everything takes times to grow, the hardest part is being patient especially when you’re planting a seed. Seeds grow in the dark, you can’t see what’s happening but you must tend to it, you must believe that it will grow.

This is what I’m doing right now with my latest project, Crystal Healer LA; just experimenting with it and seeing where it goes. I expect it to be another source of income, and I expect to receive awesome clients from it. I expect that I am going to be in service to others in a way that makes me happy.

I definitely did not foresee that I would take the path of the healer. But really, I’m just following my inner guidance and it feels right.

My mindset is definitely different from last year, I was more driven & motivated. This time I’m more about just learning, experimenting and enjoying the experience.

I usually create content for every blog post, but I don’t know what to post this time around. I was digging through my internet files and stumbled on this surreal, occult work of art by Felix Labisse.

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Today is Friday 9/14/18 and I’m on fire right now, or as the kids would say: I’m LIT as fuck.? HA.

Putting things into place now that can only grow and get bigger in the future.

Yesterday in the morning, I did a crystal healing on myself again. This time, along with the other stones – I put my Pyrite with Quartz right on my solar plexus, the third chakra. Pyrite is masculine energy, manifestation, action, vitality, willpower, creativity, confidence; so I wonder if there is a direct correlation with this newfound drive and motivation I’m experiencing right now? I think so.

I’ve been working with that Pyrite with Quartz since the beginning of my business in 2017, it’s definitely doing its work. I actually did a lot of the things that I only talked or dreamed about, I even surprised myself. It’s a trip to watch yourself evolve.

Now I’m working on building my crystal healing practice, so I put up another website: crystalhealerLA.com – putting my digital marketing skills to use to build it up. I’m excited to create original content for it.

I don’t have a whole lot of clients yet, so I’ve been doing these crystal healings on myself – in order to understand what’s really happening when crystal energy is interacting with the human energy field. I want to be able to test and prove that something IS happening, even when we can’t see it. Not for the non-believers but really for myself and my future clients.

It’s all an experiment really, but I really like where I’m going with all of this right now. I plan to stay creatively focused.

The biggest takeaway for wanting to do something, is to just do it. Don’t expect perfection, just dive right in; you’ll learn as you go and you’ll perfect things as you do them.

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via GIPHY

I noticed recently that I’m not really into super feminine pages on Instagram – pages that look soft, pretty and overtly feminine. Super curated and absolutely perfect. They’re great, just not for me.

Look, I’m a woman and I’m definitely soft. And I’m also straight. But I’m not super feminine and girly at all, but I really like hot pink and pretty things. Even the word ‘tomboy’ is not a fit to describe me, as looking at the definition of a tomboy – I don’t even like nor participate in sports. Who the fuck came up with these definitions anyway?

So what’s this really about then? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not a super feminine person; I don’t follow all the witches who worship goddesses as well as the moon. It’s sort of becoming a cliché, don’t you think? Even witchcraft is becoming a look and everyone is doing the same exact thing…

I’m down for all that stuff just not too much of it, you know?

Speaking of doing the same exact things, I’ve been following a marketing guy on Instagram who is abrasive and hard to like, but he is interesting af to me because he’s one of the very few marketing people out there who dare to be different, saying some real shit; and trust me when I say that I’ve come across a few marketing people already and have subscribed to their emails & bought their e-books. A lot of the stuff they teach is mostly the same bullshit, just packaged different.

I basically saw an ad of his – Ryan Orrico – and started following him. And trust me, I’m very hard to convince, I reject a lot of ads on IG; a lot of them are pretty bland and cookie cutter. As a matter of fact, Ryan “inspired” me (I put this in quotes because I know to him, the word ‘inspiration’ is a loaded term and he talks in depth about this in his emails) to start doing these random talking videos on my crystal shop’s Instagram page – where I talk unedited about whatever it is I want to talk about. This is actually working for me. How is it working? Let’s just say that by looking at my analytics, the talking videos are what people watch the most.

Now am I getting more sales? Not necessarily but really the whole point of these is to put yourself out there, imperfect & unedited…especially when you feel anxious and nervous about doing it, do it anyway. Because the truth is, you will never get it done if you are expecting perfection – literally spending hours editing the fuck out of a video to make it perfect or making sure your face is as beautiful and as flawless as it can be. Fuck that. This is what got me fired up to start doing these videos. Ryan literally destroys yoga people on Instagram who have these ultra cliché photos of themselves doing yoga in the jungle and basically making the rest of us feel like shit because we can’t live up to that.

I feel like the perfection part is what’s been keeping me from actually doing YouTube videos – I’ve only been talking about it. Now that I’m practicing doing these random talking videos on my IG page with a small amount of followers, I can feel more confident in doing it for a larger audience down the road.

So Ryan aka Yoga Sex Rock God if you happen to see this – thank YOU!

Anyways, what I’m trying to say about marketing and why I follow this guy is this: you have to stand out somehow. Marketing is all about getting noticed, it is NOT the same as advertising. Advertising just gives the information needed to make a purchase. It took me a while to understand this. Most people see marketing & advertising as one and the same because they can be used in that way.

Marketing is getting people to react to you or whatever it is you’re offering, whether it’s perceived as a good or a bad reaction. The fact that they even reacted means that it’s working, right? They gave you their attention. It’s works the same exact way when someone hates you – they hate you but they CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. They check your Instagram page daily, they constantly need to see what you’re up to.

This is what I’m learning right now from Ryan. New ideas and concepts cannot be created if we don’t challenge the status quo. The greatest minds of history were not liked at first, they were hated because their thoughts and ideas were different.

By the way, The Devil tarot card appeared this week yet again. I now recognize him as the antagonist, the angel who challenges God.

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“If people in powerful positions continue to hire and cast only people who look like them, sound like them, come from the same neighborhoods they grew up in, they will never have a greater understanding of experiences different from their own. They will hire the same models, curate the same art, cast the same actors over and over again, and we will all lose. The beauty of social media is it’s completely democratic. Everyone has a say. Everyone’s voice counts, and everyone has a chance to paint the world from their own perspective.” – Beyoncé // Vogue, September 2018

I’m not a fan of Beyoncé but this part in her Vogue September 2018 article really spoke to me.

You can read her interview here.

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I’ve been working on the small business and continuing my experiments…

For example, I started to show my face a little bit more. That one’s hard for me for a few reasons:

a) I’m looking much older

b) I was never one to really show photos of myself. I was a graffiti artist, remember? Back in my day (hahah omfg), nobody showed their faces; most of us stayed anonymous. Plus I’m mostly an introvert and prefer to go unnoticed.

c) It feels SO uncomfortable.

But in doing so, I hope to be more comfortable; I really just want to get it over with. Small businesses seem to blend in with personal brands if there’s only one person running it. I also hope that people can see that I’m an actual person; I want them to see me for who I am, and in doing so can make a decision whether to buy from me or not.

It’s better that way I think; better to know right away who likes and supports you rather than be polite for a long fucking time.

Of course there are some slight anxieties like: will people stop supporting me when they find out that I work in the adult entertainment industry? Will the spiritual people think it’s gross and dirty?

It’s hard but we really have to stop caring about what people think and just go for it, otherwise we become slaves to other people’s opinions. They might not even be thinking that at all, it’s our own ego mind creating these ‘what if’ scenarios.

I’ve come to realize that the right people WILL be attracted to you so don’t worry about those who aren’t.

Speaking of being polite, I’ve decided to unfollow a lot of other people; mostly other crystal shop owners. They’re all great, I just don’t want to be influenced by them; I want and desire to have my own voice.

I read an interesting post on Instagram regarding this very same topic. It’s from entrepreneur Melyssa Griffin and you can read it here.

Anyways, I don’t have much to share; being an already quiet person who’s gotten even more quiet. I’m just thinking of ways to get my online crystal shop out there in the world wide web. We have to dream the impossible for ourselves, even if it sounds cliché or ridiculous; for in doing so we stretch our imagination a bit further. I believe that the universe will meet us there when we decide that we are limitless.

xo

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All I’ve been wanting to do lately is just doodle sacred geometry shapes and symbols. I wanted to draw this while at work today but alas I was on a deadline. And then I made a gif out of it a day later.

I feel as if something is being activated in me but I’m not sure what it is. I read something online recently about the light body – that it is activated in levels.

I’m drawn to merkaba, pyramid, sri yantra, stars, eyes and infinity symbols. I’ve been drawing them a lot repetitively, I also want them tattooed on me.???????

Been reading about the Lemurians, Atlanteans, the Pleiadeans; my psychic friend told me in the beginning of January 2018 that I was Lemurian/Atlantean in a past life…which in a way makes total sense that I’m drawn to Lemurian crystals and was able to sell them successfully, or is it only because most everyone in the crystal world reveres them? Hard to tell but I’m learning to trust that what I feel is true for me.

Speaking of past lives, I’m really into the subject but still have no clue who I was in the past. I guess it doesn’t matter so much unless it’s affecting my current lifetime in a negative way.

All I know is I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I’m definitely IN the spiral and I can’t relate to most people these days unless we’re into the same stuff.

I’m lost and I don’t want to be found. There is so much to learn about the past, present, future and other dimensions.

It’s officially been a year since I started Metaphysical Vibes. I applied for a business license & seller’s permit around this time in April 2017 and opened to the public on Earth Day, April 22nd. What an interesting exercise in manifestation this has been, I don’t know what’s next as I’m learning so much about myself and haven’t been spending money on the business as I spent a lot last year, so I’m paying down my debt. I’m taking an 8 week course in Trans Crystal Therapy at The Crystal Matrix – learning and working with the stones and their associated chakras, scanning the body with pendulums and Quartz crystals, becoming more aware of our auras, etc. I love my teacher and the people I’m taking the course with. I’m definitely growing and transforming, into what I have yet to discover. The Death card appeared this week, as did The Fool.

Open mind, open heart. Stay curious as there is so much more to it than just the physical world. Peace, love and blessings if you are reading this.✨❤✨

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It’s challenging to want to know everything and be everything…

I literally want to learn how to do A LOT of things. Where does one draw the line?

I also want to just do nothing, really. Have I lost my sense of identity? Probably. I have always thought that art would be my path. It is, just not in the way I imagined. It is still one of many possibilities, and I’m still holding on to the fantasy that I will create in that capacity again.

But let’s face it, as grownups it’s not exactly easy to make “art for art’s sake” – most things adults do has a purpose. But if it’s important to you, you will find the time.

I want to get better at business and marketing because I know it will benefit my little business…

But I also just want to let it unfold without me forcing it to be a certain way.

Everything has to be balanced, we all have to wait our turn. There’s a lot of everything right now, so much so that it’s saturated. It’s great that everyone is pursuing their dream, but not so great when the market is flooded. Everybody is selling, everybody is hustling. I’m right there with all those people, but I’ve also learned to be still and have patience.

I read this proverb from a little booklet (Learn Spanish – another thing that I really want to learn) and it has a beautiful, religious but also borderline occult undertone to it:

EN LA TIERRA DE LOS CIEGOS EL TUERTO ES REY

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed is king.

Here’s my drawing for today which somehow evolved into a animated gif that I don’t mind at all; I hope to redraw it and post a better version. I’m pretty sure I’ve drawn VII of Cups before, digitally.

I was going to end the post here but another thought entered my mind: I think that’s why I like the Tarot and continue to work with it – it is everything. But when you see the bigger picture it is also a mandala, a wheel. And at any given moment, the wheel turns and we can be anything we want.

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It just dawned on me as to why I haven’t been posting consistently on Instagram for Metaphysical Vibes…social media feels whatever to me right now; it’s safe to say that I can live without it (I probably can’t). I don’t have FOMO either (liar). Ha! I do wish some people would try being mysterious for once and not post everything that they do; maybe we’d have something to talk about in real life? I don’t know, just a thought…

Unfortunately I can’t escape it entirely as it’s still a major part of my job.

Anyways…

In numerology it’s the year of the High Priestess in Tarot – add the numbers 2018 (2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 1+1 = 2).

Last year 2017 was the year of the Magician; it makes total sense as to why I got inspired and was consciously making action-oriented moves with the crystal business.

The High Priestess to me is all about introspection, self-knowledge, deep inner wisdom but also isolation. Lately I’ve been just wanting to be alone; I mentioned in my last blog post that I don’t mind it at all. I love being alone and learning things about myself.

I also noticed that although I haven’t been posting a whole lot I’m still making sales. That is nice and I appreciate it. With all the people who are constantly hustling, pushing minerals on Instagram it feels nice that I don’t have to work so hard to “sell”, I don’t have to struggle or compete to be constantly in people’s feeds. The crystals and the reviews people have left me are doing the work for me; I didn’t even have to ask anybody to leave me a review – each person did it because they wanted to. I am so thankful that my selling/small business experience is matching my personal energy; I kept thinking that my introvertedness (sometimes ambivert, occasional extrovert) would ruin my chances of selling anything.

I’m also thankful that I can express my creativity through Metaphysical Vibes.

Cheers to everyone who is working on breaking free from their jobs. I haven’t fully done it, but I’m making my way towards it; at the pace that I’m comfortable with.

Call me a part time business owner for now I guess.

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