I am writing this down as quick as I can because it feels like I’ve received a download from above that’s worth sharing.

Martyr, sacrifice, reincarnation, karma, ancestors, trauma, healing, justice, integration, shadow work are the words I keep receiving in my mind.

Are things worse off than they were before?

Even though it seems fucking horrible (and it always seems fucking horrible), I’m going to say NO.

Black, indigenous, people of color are rising up continuously – becoming more empowered each time one of their own dies from injustices such as racism or police brutality. Though it is exhausting as fuck to have to go through this over and over again, it empowers them and many others to fight back, using the technology that we now have.

Taking pictures and documenting the whole experience with video, boosting it on social media.

The internet is a gift.

I don’t know how to articulate this exactly, but those who have died from police brutality, racism, abuse, etc…

had a mission to do exactly that.

It may seem extreme and violent, even unfair – because it is – but again: violence, death and rebirth is our heritage.

The big bang was a violent, cosmic event. So was the birth and destruction of stars and planets. Even human and mammal birth is violent – it’s literally stretching the opening to its limits so one could be born. Then you’re covered in blood and plasma.

That also doesn’t mean we just sit back and allow fate to happen – as we have free will – to fight back and follow what our inner guide/daemon/spirit/higher consciousness calls us to do.

As above, so below.

So that the masses can continue to wake up, including their own people; so that we can continue to heal, becoming more aware and conscious with each iteration, each death.

It was not all for nothing.

Nobody dies for nothing.

Understand that we are all witnesses to this, witnesses to the United States of America facing its own shadow…over and over again.

On a microcosm level – I understand to a point now, why I’m here in California in the US. It is my home, it’s where I belong.

Even though I was born in the Philippines, I have never felt at home there. I feel at home here.

Why? Because I am American, just as much as I am Filipino. My mom brought me here in 1984. I wouldn’t have met the friends I love so much if I wasn’t here. I wouldn’t have met the person I married if I wasn’t here.

I would be living a life in the Philippines probably, but not as the same exact person that I am now. Probably living a whole different existence, probably unaware and just living a regular life.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But that is not what my soul wanted for me, obviously.

Believe it or not, I am grateful to be here right now – amidst the violence and chaos. I feel connected to all people, perhaps the internet is making that possible. I am witnessing the light and dark forces at work.

I love and hate the United States of America.

I feel the sadness, anger, hate, frustration, grief while simultaneously feeling peace, love, gratitude and an expanded awareness of it all.

We are one existing separately, living that paradoxical life for all eternity.

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If you use my content, don’t forget to tip me on Venmo: piasanjose

I write for Crystal Healer LA, Metaphysical Vibes, Save the Savages & Pia San Jose – my 4 online properties. I guess you can say I am a blogger even though I’ve always hated that word. Blog writer sounds more appropriate.

So I wrote this on my crystal shop’s blog when I was just starting to fill it up with content: https://metaphysicalvibes.com/welcome-to-metaphysical-vibes/ – I’m sharing it here because I never really wrote down how I got to where I am now.


How did I get to this point?

I’m going to get personal here so feel free to skip unless you want to know more about me – Pia, the owner of Metaphysical Vibes.

In the years following my mom’s death, I sort of felt lost. My mom had passed away from ovarian cancer in 2006 and ever since then, it seemed as if I was always looking for something to help me make sense of my life. I wasn’t suicidal but at the same time, I wasn’t excited about living.

At first, the dark side of the occult attracted me; dark images inspired my art and the teachings of Anton Szandor Lavey made so much sense to me at the time since my mom always tried to push Christianity on me but just never fully clicked.

To make a long story short, I was exploring spirituality for the first time with my own eyes and ended up buying my first set of stones from a metaphysical store in North Hollywood in 2012. The descriptions they had with the stones resonated with me.

I also started seeking the magickal teachings of Aleister CrowleyEliphas Levi and others; I started learning how to read tarot for myself via books and I kept collecting more stones and books from various metaphysical stores in the Los Angeles area.

I was definitely hungry for a different kind of knowledge so I started taking classes on crystals, tarot, developing intuition at House of Intuition in LA. My current knowledge is a combination of self study and taking classes.

I am not really sure why I started this crystal shop. But if you’d like to read more of my musings, you can visit my personal blog at Save the Savages.

And so here I am, forever learning and experiencing All That Is.

I hope you will check out the crystal shop and see if any one of them speak to you!


Animated GIF by me. It took a lot of frames to move the rainbow.

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I shared this on @crystalhealerla IG: me practicing how to write magical & heart symbols in the air using the Write On effect in Adobe Premiere.

The Pentacle is the name of the 5 pointed star enclosed within a circle, while the Pentagram is the name of the 5 pointed star itself.

Witches and pagans use this symbol for blessings, protection and sending light. It is not a symbol of evil.

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I posted this sketch to my @crystalhealerla account on Instagram, but I really like how it turned out so I’m sharing it here as well.

I’m thankful that I have 2 sketchbooks to fill for The Sketchbook Project – it gives me something to do and gets the creative current flowing. On top of this, I’ve been attempting to write for 20 minutes a day uninterrupted – during work days I can only get in less than 10 minutes. It’s better than nothing.

As usual, I have no direction with my career goals. For practical reasons, I think I should just choose the Web Development route because I wouldn’t need to upgrade my computer. If I choose motion graphics / video editing, then I would have to get a newer iMac. And right now, I’m starting to hate being a jack-of-all-trades, only knowing a little bit of everything. I shouldn’t feel stuck, but I am. I’m also trying to pay down my debt first, then have an emergency fund, then invest. Trying to keep my creativity a top priority while adulting can be a fucking challenge…there’s always something to do or something to think about.

I’ve been minding my business a lot on the internet, not scrolling as much on IG. In my own world mostly, forever scheming on how I can create financial freedom even while I work. Again, it goes back to paying down debt, then saving, then investing.

I am missing my friend, Roxy. I know she would’ve banged out some rad sketches for The Sketchbook Project. She would’ve also been excited and cheering me on when I’d post my sketches on IG. Sigh💔

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I’m just writing this based on personal experience. I’m writing this because I’ve had a couple of experiences recently that felt like spirit communication. It happened with two people that I love who have passed on from their physical bodies: my mom and my best friend, Roxy.

Spirit communication sounds scary, but it really doesn’t have to be. Remember, we are all spirits too – energy with a consciousness – it just so happens that we are still in our physical bodies.

As some of you may know, I’ve been developing my psychic abilities. And in order to become psychic, you must learn to meditate.

The book I’m reading suggests that you can meditate with music to engage psychic visions, and so that’s exactly what I did: play a particular piece of music that that person loved when they were still around.

I want to mention that on both occasions, I wasn’t expecting it to happen. But it did.

When I did it playing Moonlight Sonata, my mom came through.

When I did it playing Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful’, Roxy came through.

So how do I know it’s real? It was real because I was crying uncontrollably. If you have a strong emotional bond with that person, then you will know that it’s real.

Another way to know it’s real is when you can see it with your third eye, when you are able to describe details – what the person is wearing, where you are at and what is happening. It’s similar to dreaming, except you are conscious and aware.

I also want to mention that the spirit of the person may not talk to you directly, but send you a psychic message. Or they may not say anything to you at all but communicate with you visually. You might feel scared at first – since in the spiritual realm anything goes, you will see more than you anticipated, forcing you to face your own fears and old beliefs.

So before you try this on your own, make sure you are spiritually grounded and have some experience meditating; yes, you will feel strong emotions like I did (especially if the person just recently died), but be sure to remain present meaning you have to have one foot in your physical reality while you’re in the spirit realm. Say a prayer before you begin, asking for guidance & protection. This is different from a regular meditation in that you are actually seeing with your mind’s eye and interacting with the spirit.

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I keep this blog, this website, this identity because I feel safe here. I feel less restricted in being able to say what I want to say and not have to dumb it down or make it less weird for everyone else. This is me talking to me.

I have separate accounts and separate aliases because you can’t lump yourself into one thing, at least in my opinion. You have to put yourself into categories that are digestible for people. From a metaphysical perspective, this is how Consciousness manifests itself – it is One thing broken up into a billion pieces, experiencing itself. That is us, that is what we do.

Anyway, here is my latest drawing for Inktober 2019. The prompt is: ring. I really like how it turned out. Instead of being hard on myself for not drawing on a regular basis, I am learning to appreciate my sporadic moments where I am motivated and can create something that I like.

At this point, I don’t care if other people like it anymore.

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Believing in something or believing in absolutely nothing.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

Being right or being wrong, it’s a 50/50 chance.

The crystals & stones may or may not have any healing properties at all. It really was just you all along, healing yourself. It’s a 50/50 chance.

Astrologers versus astronomers.
Metaphysicians versus scientists.
Meat eaters versus vegans.
Round Earth vs Flat Earth.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

It’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong these days. I feel as if I’ve been oscillating between my own beliefs and then questioning them lately.

Even Flat Earthers can be convincing. So just pick something and stick with it. Believe in all your heart and soul that it’s right and true for YOU at this moment. Don’t worry about everyone else and don’t let anyone shame you for it either.

Of course you are allowed to change your mind.

So many people want to give you advice and tell you what to do. It can be overwhelming and irritating especially when you didn’t fucking ask.

If none of it makes sense anymore, then just pick yourself. Be an expert on you. Take advice from your Self, as it always knows what to do next. Even when you get a tarot reading from somebody else and they tell you what they see from the cards, deep down you already kinda know what’s going on with you, right?

You know who you are, and I know who I am.
I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free.

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I better write this down before I forget:

Do you know how humans work the internet for their purposes?

You have multiple social media accounts – one for each version of yourself; one for personal, one for work or business or a side project; one to lurk on other people, one for your pet, etc.

But you are still the same person operating those different accounts. Same with a business that has multiple DBAs (Doing Business As)

On a universal scale, it is the same with Source. Source has so many ♾ infinite ♾ versions of Itself, but it is still the same Source.

As above, so below. As within, so without.

Also sidenote: I’m losing interest in working with regular Tarot cards, particularly Rider Waite. I want Tarot cards that have no people in it. Especially since ethnicity & diversity are lacking in a lot of these decks. If anything, I’d rather work with symbols, planets, nature, sacred geometry.

A lot of things are becoming outdated.

The above image is my light language codes.

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It brings me so much joy and pleasure to witness someone experience a healing of some sort, even more so when I don’t have any expectations of the outcome. Energy work is real and I am so thankful to have the perfect clients, I look forward to having more of these experiences in 2019. I am memorizing this blissful feeling and encoding it into my DNA. Or perhaps I have always known how to do this in a past life perhaps (a client mentioned this to me before), I had just forgotten and am barely remembering it now in this life.

Of course it hurts me to see people in pain; a part of me wants to cry along with them but at the same time I get to learn how to help them transmute this pain, which simply is energy.

This time around, the person receiving the healing and myself saw colors. We literally saw the same colors – pinks & reds – when I was chelating around her heart chakra.

On Saturday, I also activated my Light Language codes. Oddly enough I had been drawing these symbols repetitively for the last few months long before I even knew what LL was, not realizing that these would be MY codes. How wonderful and so very synchronistic.

I was also able to activate verbal, written & movement LL codes, which surprised me even more because I was not expecting it, especially the verbal part.

Anyways, I am pretty excited about where my life is headed right now. I still don’t know what direction I’m going in anymore, but as long as I follow my true interests, my intuition will guide me.

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For crystal healing/therapy sessions, visit me at Crystal Healer LA.
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I drew this today (Monday, November 5 2018).

I’m here, trying to just be and go with the flow. I once saw someone on Twitter tweet this out: “only dead fish go with the flow”.

So as usual, I’m conflicted.

Like, how do we just go with the flow if we are conscious beings, when we’re wired a certain way. It really takes effort to reprogram our minds and to find balance between wanting stuff to happen already versus allowing it to come to you.

I want so many things, but mostly I want to learn everything that fascinates me.

Right now I have a list of things I want to learn or make my way towards:

Light Language
Medical Intuitive
Holistic Life Coach
Quantum Healing Hypnosis
Transpersonal Psychology

I’ve also been considering going into Massage Therapy but then again I’m not sure whether I’m ready to touch people…I’m still thinking about it though.

I don’t know. I want to focus on one thing and get really good at it. But it also feels like I need to do other things too. Why? Selling minerals is cool but tbh, I’m already losing interest in it. Perhaps I was a bit naive in thinking that I was always going to make consistent sales, but not only that – selling gets boring after a while. I feel that I also made some poor decisions and spent more than I made. Lesson learned, I guess.

My intuition is leading me to a consciousness upgrade, it seems. It wants me to learn all this stuff that I’ve never even considered wanting to get into.

So here I am again, wondering where my life is going next. I honestly don’t know anymore. This is what wanted to come out today while drawing.

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