The Out There is Right Here❤️👽❤️

I drew this today (Monday, November 5 2018).

I’m here, trying to just be and go with the flow. I once saw someone on Twitter tweet this out: “only dead fish go with the flow”.

So as usual, I’m conflicted.

Like, how do we just go with the flow if we are conscious beings, when we’re wired a certain way. It really takes effort to reprogram our minds and to find balance between wanting stuff to happen already versus allowing it to come to you.

I want so many things, but mostly I want to learn everything that fascinates me.

Right now I have a list of things I want to learn or make my way towards:

Light Language
Medical Intuitive
Holistic Life Coach
Quantum Healing Hypnosis
Transpersonal Psychology

For a minute I was even considering Massage Therapy but then again I really don’t want to touch people.

I don’t know. I want to focus on one thing and get really good at it. But it also feels like I need to do other things too. Why? Selling minerals is cool but tbh, I’m already losing interest in it. Perhaps I was a bit naive in thinking that I was always going to make consistent sales, but not only that – selling gets boring after a while. I feel that I also made some poor decisions and spent more than I made. Lesson learned, I guess.

My intuition is leading me to a consciousness upgrade, it seems. It wants me to learn all this stuff that I’ve never even considered wanting to get into.

So here I am again, wondering where my life is going next. I honestly don’t know anymore. This is what wanted to come out today while drawing.

My Faith in Reiki Has Been Restored⚡️

I’m typing this before I forget. I woke up with a bad headache on the right side of my head. It was probably because I ate too much salty chips with hummus…then an hour later I had cheezy poofs the night before and didn’t actually eat dinner. I probably didn’t drink a whole lot of water either. It happens.

So I put Selenite on the the side of my head where the pain was and that sort of helped. Blue Calcite worked even better but the headache came back again in waves. I should also mention that my husband told me to drink Gatorade because I needed electrolytes so I did that. And some water of course.

While all of the above helped, my headache was still there, lingering.

So I called upon my true Reiki masters & guides to assist me with removing this headache, got into a quiet, expansive, meditative state and put my hands on the sides of my head for a few minutes.

Needless to say, it worked; my headache subsided and my faith in Reiki has been restored, the Usui method. Also, my husband got us breakfast. I’m thankful.

For the past week I was having serious doubts about my Reiki practice after having learned that a false light agenda existed and has been infiltrating through the various Reiki symbols. So I had to search out some answers to my own questions. If you are open minded and want to get weird, please read my previous blog post: Reiki and Reptilians

I Trust Myself

Reflecting back on it now, setting up the crystal shop was easy; selling something that is tangible and beautiful is quite easy.

Marketing & selling a service on the other hand, is a bit more challenging; people can’t see it, it’s not tangible like a crystal or a stone. But it’s still doable.

I trust myself, I trust that I can make this work.

Everything takes times to grow, the hardest part is being patient especially when you’re planting a seed. Seeds grow in the dark, you can’t see what’s happening but you must tend to it, you must believe that it will grow.

This is what I’m doing right now with my latest project, Crystal Healer LA; just experimenting with it and seeing where it goes. I expect it to be another source of income, and I expect to receive awesome clients from it. I expect that I am going to be in service to others in a way that makes me happy.

I definitely did not foresee that I would take the path of the healer. But really, I’m just following my inner guidance and it feels right.

My mindset is definitely different from last year, I was more driven & motivated. This time I’m more about just learning, experimenting and enjoying the experience.

I usually create content for every blog post, but I don’t know what to post this time around. I was digging through my internet files and stumbled on this surreal, occult work of art by Felix Labisse.

Garnet VVitch

While driving to work I was holding this Garnet Soapstone (available for purchase) in the photo and got a surge of energy flow through me and my eyes welled up a little…I thought about blood, bloodshed and sacrifice.

In my mind’s eye I got a flash of witches being accused and persecuted. Perhaps these were just mental pictures from witch-related movies I’ve seen, I wasn’t sure. But it was enough to make me feel something and to write this down.

Anyways.

In terms of sacrifice, often times we think about veterans who were in the war, but what about the thousands of innocent witches, healers who were burned at the stakes…

What about the countless women who were raped past, present and future…

It was brought to my awareness recently that James Marion Sims, the father of modern Gynecology, owned black slave women and cut them up without anesthesia in order to study and learn about our reproductive organs.

The history of mankind is gruesome and it was the women who usually suffered the most.

They all sacrificed themselves to have what we have today.

All these women live through me and they exist as little druzy sparkles in this Garnet Soapstone. Garnet is all about strength and security. I am you, you are me, we are One. Now whenever I look at Almandine Garnets I will always think about all the blood that has been shed and seeped through the earth to create such a beautiful stone.

I cursed myself often, often wishing I was a man instead. They always seemed to get away with doing things. It took some time to love my body and accept myself as a woman.

I used to be angry that my period would inconvenience me, it’s actually happening right now and I think it’s perfect for writing this post.❤️

How Does Your Intuition Communicate with You?

I’m writing this down before it slips away.

Some people get clear messages with absolute clarity that they should be doing something or not…

I don’t. Instead, my interests are led by it. I just realized this now, so I had to write it down immediately.

Like if I really like doing something, I’ll be into it. I’ll put lots of energy into learning it, investing time and money even.

For a while I really thought that becoming a Web Developer would be my path. But it’s clear now that it’s not. I tried applying myself a few times and it just would not gel. I look back now on the few times I’ve tried to apply for school and I kept being blocked by something inconvenient. I was forcing it.

Combining all the things I’m into now (art/design/marketing/magick) and really making it my own little thing, is where I feel like I’m truly thriving. I can actually feel my sense of purpose.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, trust yourself to make the right decisions. You are going the right way even though it might not seem like it, it might not even make sense at first.

I got into crystals & stones in 2012 not knowing that I would setup a crystal shop 5 years later, learn how to heal myself and in the process become a healer too.

I followed my interests and it led me to finding my true self and my true purpose. Life is trippy.

Some Personal Notes On Doing Healings

Just writing/typing this out for my personal reference.

I did a couple of crystal healings these last 2 weekends and here’s what I’ve learned:

Grounding and centering yourself first and foremost is important. I didn’t realize how important this was until you start doing more healings. If you’re not grounded then you won’t be a clear channel for spirit to come through and do it’s healing work; you’ll get carried away by the other person’s problems. This is especially important if the person coming to you for a healing is a friend. But this is good practice for me so I’m glad that when it happened, I was able to stay clear & centered during both sessions.

Meditate for at least 30 minutes before doing a healing so you can be grounded and connected to source.

Healing doesn’t happen solely from the healer; the person receiving the healing is just as integral to the process – they must be actively participating in their own healing otherwise the healing process might take longer or might not happen at all.

How can they achieve this? The person receiving the healing must start to think better thoughts, visualizing a better outcome for situations they want to change; replacing overthinking and stressful feelings with more deep breathing, being present and counting their blessings.

Counting your blessings when life feels overwhelming and stressful is a good place to start because it takes you out of complaining & seeing the situation from another perspective. From there, the person can start to realize that things CAN be different.

Remember, you are the only thinker in your mind. Your life can be however you want it to be, but you have to be actively changing it and not just ‘allowing’ it to happen and feeling like a victim.

If you don’t have a lot of colored stones to work with, then Quartz crystals will do just fine as it is an all purpose healing crystal. But you still want to balance all the chakras by placing a crystal on each center, programming it with the color to balance that specific chakra.

Reiki yourself and your client during the healing session so that you don’t get tired from the healing, I find that this works well for me. I didn’t feel tired during and after the healing session.

I’m really thankful that I’m learning & gaining experience from this.

Drawing: Soul Star and the Stellar Gateway

Something about being in Leo season that’s making me determined as fuck.

I’m feeling a surge of energy from the sun.

In comparison to Cancer season, I feel a lot more stable and have clarity on what I need to do next…sort of.

Cancer season was turning me into a emotional wreck for no reason. I almost felt like a victim? A victim of my own fucking mind when it turns on me and starts to get me to think in limited ways.

I drive myself crazy sometimes. I feel alone on this because I feel like it’s up to me to keep up with finances, to figure out how to bring in more money. I feel like I’m the only one who invests in myself.

Anyways…

Right now I have investments and entrepreneurship on my mind. I think at this point I will have to create my own damn job; I keep looking on CL for something else but none of them appeal to me at all. The stuff that used to interest me no longer does.

Not only that but the deeper I go into metaphysical stuff, the less I can relate to the three-dimensional world.

At this point I really don’t want to work for anyone else but myself. How do I parlay this?

And is this a sign? It must be because it’s all I’ve been thinking about.

The Fool (0) has been showing up a few times now. This card usually never shows up, unless it’s time for me to dive into the unknown again.

And 8 of Swords is the card that tends to remind me of the so called “prison” that I created.

I have a few ideas (some are risky while most are just past my comfort zone) but at the moment I can’t think of anything else:

+ Pull out money from my 401k account, quit my job and live off of that while I bring up my small business.

+ Live a lean & frugal lifestyle. Downgrade to a smaller place (might have to be an apartment, meh) and cut out the cable and other stuff so I can have less expenses.

+ Move closer to my work so I don’t have to drive my car & spend so much money on gas and car repairs; I can just walk.

These are just ideas that have been running through my head these last couple of months. All I know is, something has to change. If this is my dream, then surely I can change it right?

Here’s my latest drawing: Soul Star and the Stellar Gateway. These are based off the 12 chakra system according to Katrina Raphaell in her book The Crystal Transmission.

I Like Creating Cute Things

In trying to figure out what brings me joy and pleasure in my work life and how to attract more of it, I’ve come to these conclusions:

+ I like creating cute shit.
+ I like creating cute, bright, colorful shit.
+ I like creating animated GIFs

That’s all I’ve got. I feel like I could work at a place that’s cute, fun and matches my graphic style, but for adults (and I don’t mean porn). I think there should be more places that cater to the kid inside of us. BOOM, I just gave you an idea.

Complaining about what I don’t enjoy doing doesn’t get me anywhere – I know because I just went there AGAIN recently😫. It just brings me down and puts me in a stupid mood. So I need to get clear on what it is I really enjoy doing and not focus so much on the things I don’t enjoy.

Web design I don’t mind so much, just not into the heavy programming. I’ve tried for the life of me to learn Javascript and PHP, I did not go very far.

I enjoy writing if it’s something interesting & relevant to me.

I feel like motion graphics would be the next thing to learn, as I do enjoy animating and making things move.

I enjoy some aspects of marketing, a lot of it I don’t really care for.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I want to leave my comfortable job. At the same time it feels like I shouldn’t because I have a partner and a cat that depend on me.

I’m very much aware that I just put some limitations on my desires. It’s dumb, I know. I’m working on it but at the same time I’m not working on it…

I’m definitely on some kind of journey at the moment, one where I keep seeking to learn more about healing and becoming proficient at being a healer. There is no unhealthy ego attached here, this is where my intuition has been taking over and leading me to as of late. Reiki and Trans Crystal Therapy were the catalyst, now I’m being led to keep on learning more. How do I know this? It’s all I seem to want to think and read about but not in an obsessive way, just going with it and expanding my knowledge and awareness of this magnificent universe we live in and how its energy flows and manifests through us.

It’s a little bit of everything that I like – esoteric, psychology, science, energy work and metaphysical all rolled into one. There’s also a lot of art and imagination involved, as we are working as well as creating and visualizing things that can’t be seen but actually do exist.

So what about the crystal shop?

It’s there, quietly continuing to build itself. My ego helped me create that, but it’s taken a back seat. Too much ego creates competition, separation and stress so I had to take myself out of it because it simply didn’t make me feel good. And yeah, I also had to cut back on spending money since there is only 1 person in my little family that’s working: me.

So I watermarked this gif because it’s the damn internet and people like to steal.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are having a fun and relaxing summer doing what you want to do rather than doing things you have to do. Remember, you are important.✨🖤✨

Where Do I Go From Here?

Now that I’ve added a couple of healing modalities to my belt – Reiki, Trans Crystal Therapy…

where do I go from here?

I learned it and got certified…but now I’m not sure how to go about attracting clients, at least for TCT since that one was a much larger investment.

Also since I have a home based business – the crystal shop, do I start thinking about having a space separate from my home to do this kind of work? There’s so much to think about when having & expanding a small business but I guess I DO like thinking about it because it’s mine.

I’m in total limbo right now. I’m on a threshold of a major change here but I don’t quite know what it is. All I know is lately, I’ve been thinking more and more of taking the leap from my 9 to 5 and just going for it. I want to be patient though and wait for the right time. But IS there really a right time? I feel as I’ve been wanting to take the leap for years now.

If I fail, then I fail. But what if I don’t fail? What if I succeed? What if I’m already successful but just need to take it up a notch…

That is what faith is, right? Believing and trusting that whatever I’m meant to be doing will work out somehow even though I can’t see that far ahead.

Today the Empress showed herself to me so at least I know I’m on the right track, but then the 2nd card showed me 5 of Pentacles. Ugh, why is tarot so conflicting sometimes!😩

Anyways, here is a test animation that I’ve been playing with. The trick is to do a nice animation that doesn’t have a huge file size when saved for output. I think that’s why animated gifs are so good, remember when people thought they were annoying?

I feel somewhat uninspired right now, a little lost and clueless – the Moon showed up a few times too amplifying those feeling even more – but I will keep on moving forward…

and I will always count my blessings.✨