I don’t have much time these days to be having more than 3 Instagram accounts, even the last one isn’t getting a whole lot of love these days. That’s ok though as I see my cat everyday when I get home from work.😸

I posted this from my LA Insta Promo account that I’m about to delete. The Twitter account will stay for the time being and even that I really don’t have time for.

So I’m just posting this here for those who are looking for me on social media. I know I’m sort of elusive and hard to find. I liked it that way for many years; it has been like that for a while for me – jumping from alias to alias but now I’m really trying to stick around these days.⚡️🖤⚡️

Hello friends!💜

I don’t have a whole lot to say these days. Selling crystals and stones along with marketing and advertising the small business I started in April 2017 is keeping me busy as well as learning and expanding my knowledge of the mineral kingdom. I also became attuned to level I Reiki very recently; I wanted to bless the stones that I’m selling with Reiki energy. So yeah, I am very grateful for everything that I am experiencing. I don’t know where all of this is taking me, I’m just here for the ride and following whatever interests me.

This year has been so different, doing the constant work on myself has been life changing.

I am turning 40 at the end of the year, technically I already am.😐 I don’t know wtf that means anymore as I don’t feel like it. It used to be a big deal for everyone, right? I guess for me, it’s not…at least not anymore.

If you are reading this, I hope that you are having a transformative year, I hope you are living your best life.🖤💜🖤

Our thoughts / opinions about how we live life tend to change quickly, and a lot more often these days it seems.

For example, last year I swore I wanted to buy a house. I really wanted to do it, I was reading up on a bunch of stuff related to buying a house – the homebuying process, mortgages, costs, etc. I even had some money saved along with some other monies that came my way so somehow, it felt like I was in the perfect position to become an actual homeowner. My mom always used to insist that being a homeowner was the best thing you could do for yourself. Especially since my credit is excellent.

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I know what you’re probably thinking – the title of the post is completely unrelated to this image I created. Yes, your observations are correct. But I was in the mood, or better yet in a zone to draw crystals with my Wacom tablet while at work for some reason and attach it to this particular post. The title is still related to what I’m about to write…

What would you do if you were fired today? These are the kinds of thoughts that have been occupying my mind lately.

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10 years ago today (12/20/2006), my mom left her physical body and returned to Spirit.

10 years later, I’m still here. I made it through the pain & suffering of not having my mom around anymore.

2006 and 4-5 years after that really felt like the hardest time of my life, but I can look back and say that it transformed me into who I am now, and who I am becoming. I mentioned this in another blog post and I will repeat it again: death is certainly the most painful of all teachers, yet at the same time it can also be life changing and transformative.

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Fear is a strong word and not the word I prefer to use, but merely wanted the title of this post to jump out at you.

I’m sure you are aware of this already – people are posting more videos these days, whether it’s on Snapchat, Periscope, Vine, or YouTube. Do a Google search and you’ll see that YouTube is in the top 5 of the world’s most visited websites.

I feel like I’m one of the very last people on planet Earth to get on board. Why?

I’m not exactly new to video marketing; I’ve posted some videos on behalf of the company I work for. But no real, live people were involved; and I only used my voice, once. It was awkward, at least for me. The videos were mostly made in After Effects with existing photos and audio. I’m still learning how to edit in Premiere.

I’m terrified of the thought of people looking at my face, let alone watching me talk. I know I’m not the only one, right? Plus when you come from a graffiti subculture where your painting skills were more important than your face (NOBODY ever showed their face)…you kinda see why this is a challenge for me, right?

It’s not like I’m hiding or am deliberately antisocial in everyday life…video is just very new territory for me when it comes to myself.

Although for me personally, I’d rather go with the artsy type of video like this one. It just seems like people are starving for content though – like how to videos, tutorials, life hacks, etc. If you are a business owner or just promoting yourself it’s just not enough anymore to have a website or blog, or to just post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Video is pretty much already part of the internet landscape. A lot of people don’t even want to read anymore, for fuck’s sake; they’d rather watch a video. I like to do both.

Anyway, so I’m trying to figure out how to leverage using video for my stuff. I guess the main obstacles are:

1) come up with a video that will be of use to others and
2) get over myself and the fear of my face being shown in video :/

The video above was made in After Effects – just playing around with the CC Mercury and Particles plugin. Then I made the movie into a GIF in Photoshop. If you pull the file down, you’ll see that it’s a 10.7 MB file with 353 frames, lol. Your GIFs shouldn’t be that big but I did it anyway. Maybe I’ll make a tutorial soon once I have the steps down…

If you happen to be reading this and have posted videos on YouTube, how do you get over being nervous when it comes to creating videos that feature yourself?

Not sure what to post or vlog about? I searched for 10 Simple Vlog Ideas for You to Try Out

At some point in life, one has to rebuild or reinvent themselves. Maybe even more than once, but a few times in a span of a lifetime.

Your past no longer defines who you are now at this present moment.

I imagine this is how musicians must feel when fans are attached to their more popular songs; people keep wanting to hear you play those same songs over and over but you (the artist) have been ready to move on for sometime now.

But I have to admit, Purple Rain is Prince’s best album. EVER. RIP

I understand this because I have been in the process of doing just that, making others aware of me but from a different view.

It’s not easy, but it can be done. Your past friends might not ‘get’ you anymore, or you might have just drifted apart with those you used to be tight with. It happens.

And yes, there are a ton of artists, writers, makers, creators out there who want to be noticed for their work too but don’t be discouraged if you feel as if no one is paying attention to you and what you have to offer.

You must keep trying, but not in a way that makes you look thirsty (that’s a whole another topic in itself). It is better to make an effort than to be in a defeated mindset and say outloud “no one’s gonna buy my stuff” or “no one’s gonna give me the time of day”.

“No one likes my art.”
“No one likes my music.”
“No one reads my blog.”
“I’m not good at this.”

How do you know that? How do you know what people like or don’t like? You DON’T know.

As far as not being good at it, then you must practice. It’s the only way to get good at something. Even those who are naturally gifted have to practice their craft; it may come easier for them because of their talent – but practice and consistency is involved in any endeavor.

Here’s a personal example: I don’t think I am very good at writing. I am good at blogging about personal shit…as a matter of fact I am an EXPERT at it (haha); but writing for an actual audience – being helpful, making it interesting and to the point? That’s definitely a challenge for me. But I am making the effort with this blog post, I am practicing more and more.

The one thing you don’t want to do is put yourself down. Try not to say anything negative about yourself, try not to say anything negative about others.

Continue to create for yourself. Act like nobody’s watching.

So I hope this blog post motivates you a little. I know, I know…there’s already a FUCK TON of motivational quotes, words from ‘influencers’, experts, gurus, etcetera out there.

But I am just like you, I am trying too. I want to put more effort into this blog, I want to get better at writing quality blog posts on topics that I can discuss. I want to keep pumping out new drawings to go along with these blog posts.

Here are some new rough drawings from my sketchbook. I kinda like coloring with office supplies, hi-liters in particular :]

Flexing my creative writing muscles. I felt compelled to write this piece / commentary / poem / whatever you want to call it – but I also wanted a drawing to go along with it.


The Internet Goddess walks among you. She remains anonymous but watches, observes all human computer interaction. She absorbs it all and uses it…

for marketing & advertising purposes.

WTF?

Yup, she is a mirror of you. She is you and you are her. The way you talk, what kind of slang you use, your pains, your gains.

She, we, her, I…

throw it all back at you.

So buy something already. She needs to see some kind of ROI.

I am the occult Internet Goddess. Worship my coding, copywriting, blogging, video editing, web design, graphic design, SEO, marketing skillz…

I am everything. I am nothing. I move freely from desktop computer, to laptop, to tablet, to mobile phone.

I am everywhere and nowhere.

People underestimate the Internet Goddess. She’s not popular, she doesn’t have followers, WTF does she do??

The Internet Goddess puts herself in service to others. In doing that, she thrives.

Egoless, heart centered, she will work hard for you. Sounds like a gimmick, but it’s not.

The Internet Goddess can lure you in with her mind (posts), body (pictures) and soul (likes) if she really wanted to…

but she’s busy, just like you.

You will probably not meet her IRL, but you will know her work online. You will start to recognize that she can assimilate other people’s thoughts, yet retain her own identity…

the identity of nothing.

In being nothing, she can contain everything.

Just like The One Reality.

She’s out there, surfing the internet. Thinking, feeling, posting, typing…

Maybe she’ll text you occasionally, maybe she won’t.

Only a handful know her IRL.

She prefers not to be known.

I am the occult Internet Goddess, and I will live forever…

on your screen.

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My cat Tabby started vomiting recently, even though we feed her the same kind of food – a can of wet food (Purina Pro Plan) and some kibble (Nutro). There are a number of reasons why a cat would vomit, but the main reason usually has to do with their diet. Apparently a cat can develop allergic reactions to food as well. We had to figure out which one is the culprit and we think it’s the kibble. I am just posting this link as a reminder.

Learn the Reasons Cats Vomit