I really have tried, but I don’t have the energy that other people have to post consistently on social media.

As a mutable fire sign, I notice that I can definitely get it started but to continue it for the long run? Nope.

I am accepting it and not trashing my own abilities to stay relevant. I just don’t care that much either way.

What’s even crazier is that I looked into my Sidereal astrological sign recently and it turns out that…

I’m actually a Scorpio, and I can kinda see that; Scorpios are secretive and mysterious.

Here’s a photo of some candles I purchased recently from Mētztli at Revolutionary Mystic. I especially love the art on each label. Of course as soon as I lit the Solve et Coagula candle, I was immediately guided to revisit Transcendental Magic by Eliphas Levi; a book that normally puts me to sleep due to its arcane language…

oddly enough I couldn’t put the book down, and I understood a lot of it this time around.

Is there a devil? What is the devil? As to the first point, science is silent, philosophy denies it at hazard, religion only answers in the affirmative. As to the second point, religion states that the devil is the fallen angel; occult philosophy accepts and explains this definition.

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I am writing this down as quick as I can because it feels like I’ve received a download from above that’s worth sharing.

Martyr, sacrifice, reincarnation, karma, ancestors, trauma, healing, justice, integration, shadow work are the words I keep receiving in my mind.

Are things worse off than they were before?

Even though it seems fucking horrible (and it always seems fucking horrible), I’m going to say NO.

Black, indigenous, people of color are rising up continuously – becoming more empowered each time one of their own dies from injustices such as racism or police brutality. Though it is exhausting as fuck to have to go through this over and over again, it empowers them and many others to fight back, using the technology that we now have.

Taking pictures and documenting the whole experience with video, boosting it on social media.

The internet is a gift.

I don’t know how to articulate this exactly, but those who have died from police brutality, racism, abuse, etc…

had a mission to do exactly that.

It may seem extreme and violent, even unfair – because it is – but again: violence, death and rebirth is our heritage.

The big bang was a violent, cosmic event. So was the birth and destruction of stars and planets. Even human and mammal birth is violent – it’s literally stretching the opening to its limits so one could be born. Then you’re covered in blood and plasma.

That also doesn’t mean we just sit back and allow fate to happen – as we have free will – to fight back and follow what our inner guide/daemon/spirit/higher consciousness calls us to do.

As above, so below.

So that the masses can continue to wake up, including their own people; so that we can continue to heal, becoming more aware and conscious with each iteration, each death.

It was not all for nothing.

Nobody dies for nothing.

Understand that we are all witnesses to this, witnesses to the United States of America facing its own shadow…over and over again.

On a microcosm level – I understand to a point now, why I’m here in California in the US. It is my home, it’s where I belong.

Even though I was born in the Philippines, I have never felt at home there. I feel at home here.

Why? Because I am American, just as much as I am Filipino. My mom brought me here in 1984. I wouldn’t have met the friends I love so much if I wasn’t here. I wouldn’t have met the person I married if I wasn’t here.

I would be living a life in the Philippines probably, but not as the same exact person that I am now. Probably living a whole different existence, probably unaware and just living a regular life.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But that is not what my soul wanted for me, obviously.

Believe it or not, I am grateful to be here right now – amidst the violence and chaos. I feel connected to all people, perhaps the internet is making that possible. I am witnessing the light and dark forces at work.

I love and hate the United States of America.

I feel the sadness, anger, hate, frustration, grief while simultaneously feeling peace, love, gratitude and an expanded awareness of it all.

We are one existing separately, living that paradoxical life for all eternity.

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From “The Tree of Life – An Illustrated Study in Magic” by Israel Regardie

I now know what it is…for now at least. I’ve been sitting on this for about 2 months now, just to make sure it was still true.

I have this job, this resource so that not only can I support me and my family, I can also give back to my spiritual community – whether it’s supporting them through donations, signing up for their classes, or just supporting their small business in general.

For so long it seems I was never satisfied with where I was. I wanted so bad to quit my job and create my own shit – I’m actually still doing that but I’ve learned that it’s a much longer process. It takes time and money and so I must be patient and have perseverance while I continue to build it.

What I realized now after spending all this time ‘doing the work’ is that – I am where I’m supposed to be.

I am where I’m supposed to be.

Let that sink in.

Once I stopped struggling – complaining & fighting myself internally – and accepted where I am, everything fell into place.

I feel at peace with the work I do now, you can even say that I’ve mastered it. I know when I get my paycheck I can pay all my bills and still have enough to support others as well.

I’m currently reading “Existential Kink” by Carolyn Elliott. Though I am already familiar with a lot of the stuff she talks about in her book, I feel like there are some things I’ve missed or wasn’t fully aware of (like the unconscious) and could work on.

A magician must always seek to improve and perfect their craft.

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If you use my content, don’t forget to tip me on Venmo: piasanjose

I write for Crystal Healer LA, Metaphysical Vibes, Save the Savages & Pia San Jose – my 4 online properties. I guess you can say I am a blogger even though I’ve always hated that word. Blog writer sounds more appropriate.

So I wrote this on my crystal shop’s blog when I was just starting to fill it up with content: https://metaphysicalvibes.com/welcome-to-metaphysical-vibes/ – I’m sharing it here because I never really wrote down how I got to where I am now.


How did I get to this point?

I’m going to get personal here so feel free to skip unless you want to know more about me – Pia, the owner of Metaphysical Vibes.

In the years following my mom’s death, I sort of felt lost. My mom had passed away from ovarian cancer in 2006 and ever since then, it seemed as if I was always looking for something to help me make sense of my life. I wasn’t suicidal but at the same time, I wasn’t excited about living.

At first, the dark side of the occult attracted me; dark images inspired my art and the teachings of Anton Szandor Lavey made so much sense to me at the time since my mom always tried to push Christianity on me but just never fully clicked.

To make a long story short, I was exploring spirituality for the first time with my own eyes and ended up buying my first set of stones from a metaphysical store in North Hollywood in 2012. The descriptions they had with the stones resonated with me.

I also started seeking the magickal teachings of Aleister CrowleyEliphas Levi and others; I started learning how to read tarot for myself via books and I kept collecting more stones and books from various metaphysical stores in the Los Angeles area.

I was definitely hungry for a different kind of knowledge so I started taking classes on crystals, tarot, developing intuition at House of Intuition in LA. My current knowledge is a combination of self study and taking classes.

I am not really sure why I started this crystal shop. But if you’d like to read more of my musings, you can visit my personal blog at Save the Savages.

And so here I am, forever learning and experiencing All That Is.

I hope you will check out the crystal shop and see if any one of them speak to you!


Animated GIF by me. It took a lot of frames to move the rainbow.

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My mom would’ve been 70 today in earth years. She visited my husband in a dream this week and it was as lovely as it could be.💛 She passed away on December 20, 2006…hard to believe that was 14 years ago.

Here’s a photo of the most expensive tattoo I’ve ever gotten in memory of my mom, done by Mister Cartoon. He was gracious enough to work with my design.

I admit that I have not visited her grave for years even though it’s literally close to where I live. It just never felt like she was actually there. Her bones are, but not her spirit.

She has a funny way of visiting me and letting me know she’s present, usually when I’m driving by myself. When I was younger, I used to go to church with her and play the piano for Sunday service; so of course I learned a bunch of Christian songs. Well whenever my mom visits me now – and it’s quite random, she puts one of these songs into my head that I can’t get it out, so I have to just sing it. And then as soon I sing it, it goes away from being stuck in my head and I literally cannot remember the lyrics that I just sang. It’s strange but it’s true.

The world is full of spirits, we just have to tune in.🌹💛🌹

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And over time, we are allowed to change our opinions about things.

I’m writing this because I know I’ve written about my Reiki experience a few times, said I wasn’t going to use it anymore yet here I am…still using it and sharing it with people who come to me wanting to receive Reiki.

I’ve come to the conclusion that ultimately, you are the only one in control of what’s right for you. I might’ve gotten influenced by a more powerful witch who tried to persuade others that a certain way of healing is the only way, while the rest is corrupt / distorted. That was a couple of years ago; perhaps she has changed her beliefs on it as well.

And while I may have believed it at the time, I do not believe it now.

Everything is a learning experience; I feel that I exposed myself to those things because my soul wanted to teach me to rely on my own intuition.

Here are the posts I was referring to that may seem contradictory now. But my experiences at the time were real and so I had to write about it:

Reiki and Reptillians

My Faith in Reiki Has Been Restored

More on that False Light

If you are reading this – in no way, shape or form am I telling you to NOT get attuned to Reiki – you have to make that decision for yourself. I am just documenting my experience and sharing on this blog of mine.

I will say this again: do not follow the crowd, question everything. I am still on the fence about ascended masters being that I am not familiar with a lot of them, especially the ones on Doreen Virtue’s cards (whom she renounced). Not saying they don’t exist, only to each their own. Trust your own experiences.

Think of the Yin Yang symbol – it consists of 2 parts – one part is dark with a white dot in it, the other is light with a dark spot in it. And while each part seems separate, it is still part of the whole – the circle.

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I’m just writing this based on personal experience. I’m writing this because I’ve had a couple of experiences recently that felt like spirit communication. It happened with two people that I love who have passed on from their physical bodies: my mom and my best friend, Roxy.

Spirit communication sounds scary, but it really doesn’t have to be. Remember, we are all spirits too – energy with a consciousness – it just so happens that we are still in our physical bodies.

As some of you may know, I’ve been developing my psychic abilities. And in order to become psychic, you must learn to meditate.

The book I’m reading suggests that you can meditate with music to engage psychic visions, and so that’s exactly what I did: play a particular piece of music that that person loved when they were still around.

I want to mention that on both occasions, I wasn’t expecting it to happen. But it did.

When I did it playing Moonlight Sonata, my mom came through.

When I did it playing Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful’, Roxy came through.

So how do I know it’s real? It was real because I was crying uncontrollably. If you have a strong emotional bond with that person, then you will know that it’s real.

Another way to know it’s real is when you can see it with your third eye, when you are able to describe details – what the person is wearing, where you are at and what is happening. It’s similar to dreaming, except you are conscious and aware.

I also want to mention that the spirit of the person may not talk to you directly, but send you a psychic message. Or they may not say anything to you at all but communicate with you visually. You might feel scared at first – since in the spiritual realm anything goes, you will see more than you anticipated, forcing you to face your own fears and old beliefs.

So before you try this on your own, make sure you are spiritually grounded and have some experience meditating; yes, you will feel strong emotions like I did (especially if the person just recently died), but be sure to remain present meaning you have to have one foot in your physical reality while you’re in the spirit realm. Say a prayer before you begin, asking for guidance & protection. This is different from a regular meditation in that you are actually seeing with your mind’s eye and interacting with the spirit.

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Summer, my least favorite season especially this year since the A/C has not been working for 3 weeks now…but at least the traffic is light and there are less people around.

I really wish I had this sweater because I’d probably wear it 24/7.

I switched gears yet again, typical Sagittarius. I’m starting to accept that this is who I am, that I can’t stick to one thing. Been playing around and trying to learn Adobe Premiere Pro and After Effects, but now I feel like I might need a newer computer to handle the more graphic intensive stuff. Anyways, I’m just experimenting and having fun. Check out my YouTube channel for my crystal shop here to see what I’ve been up to.

I’m still thinking about starting up a Patreon but have no idea what to offer – animated gifs, digital art, Photoshop tutorials, meditation videos?

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I’ve come to the conclusion that all is divine energy – whether you use Reiki, Light Language, Middle Pillar, Quantum Touch or any other type of energy work to heal yourself and others.

I started using Reiki again for self-healing and found myself combining it with the others I just listed. I didn’t even force it, it just wanted to come through that way. I’ve encountered reptilian energy again while meditating with Serpentine, but this time it was benevolent. It was from the earth and I wasn’t fearful; it was alligators, snakes, kundalini energy.

I’m also at this state where I’m no longer paying attention to anyone in particular on IG, especially if they’re not paying attention to me. Whatever that was, a one sided energy exchange – has worn off. Admiration and adoration of others that you look up to is nice, but I noticed that I was hanging onto every word a few people were saying and believing it to be the absolute truth. It might be true for them, but not for me. So I pretty much had to snap out of it and unhook myself from people.

Just know that your thoughts and feelings about something or someone can change at any moment and that’s okay.

I’ve decided to stay in my lane and do whatever it is I’m good at. I’m still really trying to learn PHP, MySQL but mostly Javascript because I still suck major ballz. Not putting myself down, just being realistic; numbers with problem solving and equations aren’t my strong points but since I have to work with it a lot at work, I feel as if I really need to fucking learn it already. Wish me luck. As a Sagittarius though, I know that I tend to take on too many things to learn & achieve. I guess we’ll see.

Quick animated digital sketch gif by me, let’s call her Minty.

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Believing in something or believing in absolutely nothing.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

Being right or being wrong, it’s a 50/50 chance.

The crystals & stones may or may not have any healing properties at all. It really was just you all along, healing yourself. It’s a 50/50 chance.

Astrologers versus astronomers.
Metaphysicians versus scientists.
Meat eaters versus vegans.
Round Earth vs Flat Earth.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

It’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong these days. I feel as if I’ve been oscillating between my own beliefs and then questioning them lately.

Even Flat Earthers can be convincing. So just pick something and stick with it. Believe in all your heart and soul that it’s right and true for YOU at this moment. Don’t worry about everyone else and don’t let anyone shame you for it either.

Of course you are allowed to change your mind.

So many people want to give you advice and tell you what to do. It can be overwhelming and irritating especially when you didn’t fucking ask.

If none of it makes sense anymore, then just pick yourself. Be an expert on you. Take advice from your Self, as it always knows what to do next. Even when you get a tarot reading from somebody else and they tell you what they see from the cards, deep down you already kinda know what’s going on with you, right?

You know who you are, and I know who I am.
I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free.

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